Thursday 8th May

We started today with Geoff inviting everyone to stand around the centre circle and give a minutes applause to commemorate VE Day

Game 1 was refereed by Colin

Bambi got the scoring underway almost from the off scoring from just inside the opposition half with a long range shot giving the Blacks a 1-0 lead, Graham in goal seemed distracted, probably still debating if the cost of accommodation in Bilbao is worth it to see Spurs in the Europa League final, assuming they don’t blow it tonight.

Rules were generally being adhered to though 2 penalties were awarded for defender encroachment but both Bambi and Ken failed to score them.

Ken was rewarded for his tenacity with a goal for the Reds and with the game finely balanced at 2-2 a strike from Eastbourne Ken hit the crossbar shot up landed back on the pitch and bounced into the goal to register a 3-2 win to the reds.

Match 2 report, provided by Rory, is his usual mix of excellent wordsmith and humour.

In these troubled times, it’s reassuring to have some things in life that bring stability and certainty, and of course walking football is the glue that holds us together. With a high degree of regularity, we know that some plonker is going to knock the ball across the box and give away a goal or ten, as night follows day. We know that Dazza and Shaun are going to blast the ball high and wide because they were brought up on gaelic football. And that a sizeable number of players are going to run in and tackle from behind. Furthermore, they will deny they did anything wrong (you guys know who you are!!). But this is indeed the joy of the beautiful game.

The sides on Thursday were slightly unbalanced in favour of the blacks, although the reds did make a real fight of it, for the first five seconds of the game. The blacks couldn’t go wrong with Fez and Terry up front forming a strong strike force. Both have powerful left pegs, and Eddie in the reds’ goal must have wondered what he did to deserve this, even with his finger-reinforced goalkeeping gloves. The reds had three Daves to the blacks two Daves, so they were always in with a chance. Dave the Fox was playing in the (fox) hole behind Fez and Terry, and he was definitely channelling the spirit of Vardy with a finely honed goal poacher’s movement.

The blacks soon got into their passing and moving game with Rory playing sweeper keeper and starting moves from the back and building attacks through big Dave and Pete who formed a solid defensive partnership. The blacks struck first with a fine move ending with Fez fizzing the ball home with his trusty left foot. Things soon got worse when foxy Dave popped up to make it 2-0 after some nice work from Laurie down the right flank. It could have got embarrassing, but the reds had some tasty players egged on by the fearsome Dave the Cab with his rallying cry…”that’s another two f**king goals we’ve given them!”. Following some solid play by Martin and Dazza, Dave the Bee ghosted into space and flicked a brilliant lob over the advancing Rory who made a heroically spectacular effort to save the shot. It was too good however and the reds were back in it. Blacks 2-1 Reds.

But Dave the Fox was indeed possessed by the Vardyman and soon found himself through one on one with Eddie. Dave gave Eddie the eyes, and while Eddie was working out what to do with them, Dave had swerved around him and slotted the ball home. Stupidly, Eddie gave Dave his eyes back and before long Dave had bagged himself another goal and a deserved hat-trick with some quality finishing. Blacks 4-1 Reds.

The reds weren’t out of it and launched a series of attacks on the blacks’ goal. Rory desperately tried to get out of the way of a series of thunderbolts, but instead pulled off what seemed like a series of remarkable saves as he was battered by the ball. The attacking play finally paid off for the reds when Dave C pulled another one back for the reds with a neat finish from close range. Blacks 4-2 Reds.

However, their elation was short lived when the blacks hit them on the break with Fez’s trusty left peg banging one past a beleaguered Eddie, if only Boro’ had had the services of the big man in their failed efforts to snatch a championship play-off place. Blacks 5-2 Reds. Bibby was having a cracking game at the back for the reds despite the score-line, and successfully blocked off a number of goal opportunities to theoretically keep the reds in the game. However, a once in a billion event stopped the reds (and everyone else) in their tracks. Shaun, renowned for an inability to hit the corner flag, let alone the goal, found himself in front of goal with only the keeper to beat. Sure enough and in defiance of the laws of physics, he managed to smuggle the ball into the bottom corner to score a rare goal. In fact, this was an event so rare the dodo was still walking the earth when the last one went in. Blacks 6-2 Blacks.

As the clocked ticked down the blacks were rather harshly awarded a penalty when Calahonda Dave’s nasal hair caught a slight breeze and entered the box. Greedy b***tard Dave took a leaf out the Vardyman’s book and stepped up to take the penalty. Justice was done when Eddie brilliantly saved the shot, but unfortunately if fell to deadly Fez who struck it brilliantly back into the goal. Overall, the result was a tad harsh on the reds, but as everyone knows….you only sing when you’re winning!

Geoff announced that the kitty purse strings would be loosened and the beers were paid for by the club.

After the game Geoff announced another social on 20th May starting at Chopp in the Arroyo. Details are on the website.