Match 2 Report by Ref extrodinaire Sean
As the Autumnal weather descents in the Northern hemisphere.In the North of Ireland a group of men in orange sashes, loyal to a bisexual Dutch king of England, from the 17th century. Who won a war against King James ll, who incidentally happened to be his uncle and father in-law???This group of sash wearing men are insisting on marching up and/or down a road in Portadown county Armagh. The people living on said road aren’t crazy about having this group of bowler hatted, sash wearing, bisexual Dutch prince adoring group, march through their area. As the event tends to lead to violence and rioting and general mayhem. I used to think that per capita Americans had the majority of nutjobs of the world.
But just as with waistlines, Europeans have caught up in nutjobs per capita and are just as crazy and fat as those across the pond.
Meanwhile on Thursday October 1st a larger than usual group of no longer young, fast or for that matter skilled, footballers marched onto the pitch at Polideportivo Benalmadena. No one objected as their wives, partners and anyone who knows them were glad to be rid of them for a few hours.
The group was slightly more numerous than usual. With each team consisting of 10 players. Our guest referee Colin got proceedings underway. With little space afforded each side struggled to create any clear cut chances. In fact players struggled to stay out of each others way. Finally late in the 1st period our fearless webmaster. Live from his vault in the Mijas mountains .
In an effort to play out from the back by engaging in tippy tappy football. Tapped or side heeled the ball passed Mr, soft spoken, Loasby in the Blacks goal. 1-0 Reds.
In the 2nd period there was much of the same. There were a number of board members on the Blacks side. Who appeared to be engaging in attempts to sway the ref decision into showing favor to their cause.
At some point in the 2nd quater, not sure how many quarters were played, a scramble on the right side of the Reds goal resulted to Dasher or Howie or Pransher smashing or toe-poked the ball past Daz, ever suffering from a chest infestation, in the Reds goal. 1-1.
I’ll say, it was in the 3rd quarter, Scotland hardest working walking footballer Joe. Ignoring the advise of Our Keith and the Bambsters positive reinforcement. Took it upon himself to let fly from distance a shoot that left, Mick Dundee and Mayo’s prodigal son, in the Black goals no chance. 2-1 Reds.
New man Ronnie for Blacks, whom the new Scottish manager neglected to include in his squad this past week, struck with one of his trader mark shots from the right. To make it 2-2. I do recall at some point watching a move by Reds initiated by Joe or Fish or someone. The ball was crossed and found Keith alone in front of the Blacks goal. QPR finest missed by an Alabama mile. I think, the ball ended up in Alabama!
The final goal per my notes was scored by the Bambster also in the 3rd quarter. This report must have checked out mentally by this point in proceedings. As I have no recollection of how he scored. I do remember getting tripped savagely by one Mr Fox of Leicester fame and stumbling into Bambi who I proceeded to tack the ball away from even though we were teammates. His two step dancing, around the ball I was kick of looking at.
The 4th quarter was a stalemate Blacks pushed forward but were repelled by Reds Big Graham, Fish and Doug.
The mad Swedish scientist Ian and Trumps best Villa buddy, Terry held the middle while up front Bambi , Keith and Joe shone for Reds.
For Blacks Mr Hooverboard Kevo directed proceedings assisted by that cheating, skipping shit from Leicester Mr Fox. Sheffields finest scrapper, Dave the Owl, who once again used his lower center of gravity to viciously topple to the ground this report. The referee seeing this vast injustice and blatant attack on my person. Gave a hop ball? Where is the justice.
Also for Blacks the Welsh wizard shone and it is said, inspired Wales to a 2-1 defeat of Haland’s Norway that evening.
Late in the game this report had a rush of blood to the head, probably a result of the vicious attack on his person. I found myself free in front of the Black goal. The ball was squeezed through two Black defenders by Keith. Could have been skill but was probably more luck. I found the ball at my feet. But unfortunately don’t possess the backheel finishing skills of Brian the Webmaster!
The game end 3-2 Reds.
Good close game played in good spirits by most.?As alway no animals except for a few sheep, were hunt or killed in the making of this game. Until next time