Match 2 Report by Ref extrodinaire Sean
Seans report, painstakingly edited by Colin so it’s understandable, all for the love of the club
Match #1 game report for 05/10/2026 or 2026年10月5日 for our Chinese viewers.
So Trump pulls US bombers costing about 2 billion dollars each out of the RAF base at Fairford, I have no idea where that is actually, like geese abandoning their winter habitat.
They bravely ran away for fear of being attacked by a drone costing €75 euros. As a US tax payer I’m glad to see my tax dollars being put to good use.
Meanwhile on an overcast Monday morning a motley crew of young men, well men who were young once in the 70’s and 80’s took to the pitch at Polideportivo Benalmadena.
The game kicked off with Mark in his new role as David the Foxes understudy, refereeing.
Shortly after kick off it was noted that the sides were slightly off numbers wise. A large hook was acquired and the new man “Paul the yank” was pulled off center stage in the fast game back to where he belongs with the rest of us duffers, in game #1.
That was about the height of the excitement in game #1.
Reds with Our Keefs dictating and advising from center defensive, Lilac Terry sauntered through the middle with Steve, Ricky Parfitt’s clone, back from tying the knot on the rock of Gibraltar who was doing his best to cause bodily harm to this report.
Also back from a hiatus in sunny old England was our very own chief Constable, H, whose comforting words and positivity toward each and everyone of us was sorely missed.!
I never knew I was a dirt lanky bastard. Until H helped me see the light.
But I digress! Back to the game.
The 1st period ebbed and flowed and ebbed with neither side able to product the possibility of a shot on goal. Then late in the 1st period, Ali, our new Iranian Georgie Best impersonator, somehow after tangling up with H and Steve Loasby, the human megaphone in the Black goal the ball trickled over the line. 1-0 Reds.
The 2nd period continued in the same vein as the 1st with Hooverboard Kevo controlling things in defense for Blacks aided by the mad scientist Ian and obstructed, by this match reporter in the middle, who incidentally was happy to be playing alongside Sheffield’s finest Dave the Owl who usually finds a way to use his low center of gravity and cunning to leave this lanky bastard of a reporter on my back on the turf.
Dave the owl , cut left then right then left again in an effort to find Bambi who was calling for the ball from the safety of his rabbit hole behind 6 Red defenders.
Late in the 2nd or maybe it was the 3rd quarter of 4 or 5 periods, Our Keef despite all his instructions to those for and against him sashayed into his own goal area. Did he not trust, Daz, South Dublins finest in the Reds goal? Maybe it was a miscommunication as one couldn’t understand the other.
Anyway Dave the Owl dispatched the penalty into the bottom right corner. 1-1.
Into the 3rd or 4th quarter of that many periods, the flying Dutchman Ton began to find his legs.
Hard to lose those tree trunk legs of his, but he manages to do that for long periods of each game.
He and newly wed Status Quo Steve began to link up but the end product of this teamwork was a shot that drifted beyond our galaxy or left a Black defender maimed for life.
Pete the Fish was “floundering “ up and down the right side for Red occasionally making a pass that did actually reach its intended victim.
The Welsh wizard Steve was his usual rock in the Red defense and he was about as mobile as said rock.
Well I hope I have sufficiently taken the piss out of all associated within this game, if not I will do my best to oblige next time.
Game was played in a sporting manner at least we accomplished that. Somehow there seemed to be an abundance of high balls in this game which Referee Mark yelled play on to, what other option was there? But then one realizes with the lack of skill on display no wonder.
As alway no animals were hurt or interfered with in the making of this particular spectacle. Until next time!