31 players, 2 refs and 3 spectator/ball boy/videographers nursing injuries and a late addition by Noah who ultimately replaced Martin who limped off.  Once Ian swapped shirt colour, we were able to have 2 even sided games.

8 mins and 14 seconds of football brilliance available here Youtube link

Game 1 ended 4-2 to blacks courtesy of a Dave Fox hat trick and customary goal by Ken, who gave the eyes and sent the keeper the wrong way. Ian’s early goal and another Bambi strike weren’t enough for the reds who were pressing for the equaliser but ultimately conceded that Ken strike when he received the ball in acres of space.

Now on to game 2.

After a six-month hiatus, the hallucinatory musings of your match reporter have been summoned forth to wax lyrically on what for some, passes as a game of walking football. It was another great turnout at a the Poli with the recent recruitment campaign paying dividends and ensuring an influx of footballing talent, to replenish the ranks of the fouling / running hardcore of ball bashers.

In game 2, both teams looked solid, with a good mix of skilful ball players and tacklers from behind. John the fireman once again drew the short straw and took on the role of chief scapegoat (commonly called a referee). The reds were dealt an early blow when news emerged of Prak’s back, which he’d injured while taking a tea bag out of his cup. Rory, the other exponent of the bad back syndrome started in goal with a defensive wall of Dave and newly relegated Pete. Kevin provided plenty of width with his cultured left foot, hoping to provide the supply for a powerful front two of Nigel and Gary. Ballymena’s finest, Laurence was the main ball carrier and hatchet man in the middle of the park. But with one man down, how could they possibly hope to hold out.

The blacks started with libero Tommy (or is it Dave?)  with Dave the cab at the back and big John in goal. With Mr gadget legged Sean in the middle of the park, this created space for Dazza to maraud down the right wing. Very occasionally he’d take the ball with him. This allowed Andy and Pete to provide a fluid, interchangeable front two. Meanwhile Steve set about deploying his superpower by initiating a number of arguments about running and head high balls.

The reds started comfortably enough, knocking the ball up to Nigel who displayed some classic centre forward play by laying the ball off to Gary, who genuinely believes he is walking, when everyone can clearly see he isn’t. The 7 man reds were holding their own against the opposition and eked out the odd chance to keep big John on his toes in the blacks’ goal. However, walking football wouldn’t be the same with the classic pass across the front of goal setting up an easy score for the blacks. The latest exponent of “what not to do” was the normally reliable Laurence who for some strange reason chose not to look where he was hitting the ball and instead laid it on a gold encrusted play for any one of three blacks to knock the ball into an empty net. Opta stats: 45 percent of goals scored in walking football arise for a pass across the goal! Blacks 1-0 Reds.

The blacks changed up a gear and started to knock the ball about confidently with Pete and Andy running rings around the reds defensive shield. A combination of wayward shooting and stout defending by Dave kept the reds in the game. Another lesson for the walking footballers. Always play to the whistle. When everyone thought Gary was going to be pulled up for running (again), and even Gary slowed to a walk there was momentary confusion while the blacks waited for the whistle to go off. In the ensuing confusion Tommy (or is it Dave) casually knocked the ball back to Gary who calmly banged the ball into the back of the net. Blacks 1-1 Reds

The sound of Dave the cabs first gasket could be heard blowing off as the game restarted. A neat interchange of passes between Sean and Darren sent Pete bearing down on goal. He still had a lot to do though and amazingly pulled out a thunderbolt shot into the top corner fizzing past Rory in goal before he could finish saying “I’ve got it covered”. What a goal. Blacks 2-1 Reds

The reds were down but not out and with deadly duo Nigel and Gary up front there was always a chance they could get back into it. Or there was always the option of the defensive cock-up presenting the reds with one more chance. Sure enough, Sean obliged with a clumsy challenge from the side leaving the ref no option but to award a penalty. Goal hungry Gary stepped up to rather unconvincingly stab the ball past the keeper to draw the teams level. Blacks 2-2 Reds.

By this time, most of Dave the cab’s gaskets had blown as he struggled to contain his frustration with the blacks allowing the reds back into the game. Meanwhile the reds deployed a low block and Dave dropped into goal, subsequently pulling of a string of impressive saves. The blacks laid seige to the reds’ goal with Dazza and big John creating a number of opportunities down the right. Just as it seemed that they must score the reds broke away brilliantly with a series of one touch passes sending Laurence free on the right wing. He only needed one touch before drilling the ball into the bottom corner to secure an unlikely victory for the hard-working reds. Steve continued to deploy his superpower by arguing about everything, but it was too late. Meanwhile the sound of the top of Dave’s head blowing off could be heard in the background. What a game. And thanks to John for referring what was an exciting end to end game.

A few grumbles about the running rule still. Let’s remember these rules have been written by the club management team to promote safe and enjoyable walking football for all.

After the game Geoff announced another social on 20th May starting at Chopp in the Arroyo. details are on the website.