Match Report courtesy of Rory

What can I say….it probably seemed like a good idea at the time.

Those of us searching for enlightenment appreciate that it’s best to live in the moment, to avoid worrying about past indiscretions or future imagined catastrophes.

But what the hell was going on in Dave the Cab’s head when he walked into a local barber in Los Boliches and said: “give us a full Gareth Bale luv”. It’s not even as if he’s going bald like Bale and rather than do a Bobby Charlton / Ralph Coates, has re-arranged his hair exotically to cover an ever-increasing bald patch. I can hardly bring myself to say it, but walking football hardman and top exponent of the tackle from behind has gone and got himself a top-knot thingy. Fairplay, at least he can grow his hair long enough.

As you know, the trundling toe-pokers are not renowned for their curiosity, but even they were galvanized into asking one simple question question…Why? Who knows readers, and Dave wasn’t going to cough up an answer as he waited desperately for fireman John to start the game of 6-a-side. And wait for it, the committee had decided it was going to be reds against blacks.

Dave the Cab did his usual and went into goal for the reds so he could get the chore out of the way early, but also it enabled him to stay out of the limelight in the hope that the boys would have got used to his haircut by the time he came out of goal. “Flick on” Dave the Fox was skipper for the reds and made a valiant attempt to try and give his team some shape. Nice try Dave, don’t blame yourself. Anyway, the reds had some serious muscle in the team with Martin and Frank playing in more advanced positions, Dave the Fox playing everywhere with 35 percent of his “flicks” actually coming off! Prak and Rory hung back a bit and at least pretended they were actually defending the goal.

Meanwhile, the blacks had a solid defence built around the tough running and tackling of Pete and Alvin. Glyn was playing in the hole as he was the only one tall enough to be able to stand in it and still be able to see what was going on. Dynamic Robbie Fowler clone Gary took up his usual position running across the front line, supported by John who had obviously overdosed on raw meat by running up a world record number of fouls in the first ten minutes. The ref was going to have his work cut out.

Although it looked like goals were going to be hard to come by, the opposite was true, as both sides showed some good attacking intent. The reds took an early lead with a good strike from big Frank, but it didn’t take the blacks long to get back on level terms with Gary once again showing his prowess in front of goal. The reds were being outclassed by the blacks and John was having a great game (when he wasn’t trying to kick the opposition), linking defence and attack with some intelligent running and passing. The reds took the lead thanks to another cool finish from Alex, who as usual was everywhere on the pitch, breaking up attacks at one end and banging the ball into the net at the other. Reds 1-2 Blacks.

The reds were soon back on level terms following a deliberate hand ball out of the box by Pete who was rush goalie. Cowardly Rory, renowned for hitting the ball straight at the keeper handed the ball to cool Dave the Fox, who duly obliged by banging the ball past the bewildered keeper. Reds 2-2 Blacks. The reds then made the mistake of letting Rory go in goal, enabling the blacks to quickly take a 4-2 lead thanks to some smooth finishing from Gary, who unveiled a previously unseen level of subtlety by caressing the ball past the keeper from a tight angle. Matters got worse for the reds when John actually hit the target with one of his 500 wayward shots. The ball struck the post and then bounced off the unfortunate Dave the Fox’s rear end into the goal. Reds 2-5 Blacks.

The reds still had hope, with Dave the cab and his haircut encouraging the reds forward with his unique brand of motivational encouragement….you know what I’m saying.

Unfortunately for Dave, his haircut had clearly had a deleterious effect on his ability to play football which resulted in numerous misplaced passes and wayward shots (so what’s new? I can hear you ask). Somehow the reds managed to claw their way back into the game aided by John being sent to the sin bin for his 42nd bad tackle. Another cool penalty form Dave and a goal from Martin hauled the reds right back into the game. Reds 4-5 Blacks.  However, it wasn’t to be, and the blacks put on a tremendous display of defensive play to hold the reds at bay. Final score Reds 4-5 Blacks. It was a really good close game with the blacks just shading it. Well played lads. Everyone shot off to the bar where lots were drawn to determine which poor sap was going to have to ask Dave about is hair. One less player for Thursday’s game.

 

Our new apprentice ball boy

Video Highlights, courtesy of Frank here https://youtu.be/r4d791btZlk or all videos available on the front page