Benalmadena 27th June FF Game

END OF SEASON BUMPER EDITION

It was an historic day for the murderers of football in more ways than one. For starters, it was the last game of the season, and for another, it was the breakup of the legend that is Walking Football Spain. Forget the pandemic and war in Europe, hold the front page! Anyway, enough of this crap and let’s get on with the footie.

Keef had once again pulled together some well matched teams. The fast farts were up for it, but needed super ref Steve Loasby to negotiate a truce with the adolescent football enthusiasts. Anyway, Rory finally got the opportunity to stop man-marking big Al because they were in the same team for a change. Road runner Alan started in goal with Kai (the beast) up front. Canny Welsh Gareth Bale apologist Colin led the line up front. Let’s face it, who wouldn’t rather get a multi-million pound pay day than play for Cardiff…. Knee-knack Rory played libero.

The blacks were led by skilful Scottish playmaker wee Eddie with a powerful northern European engine room containing Mats and Han the pass and move Eredivisie legend. Brummie and Villain stalwart Terry was comfortable in the hole, although he periodically needed assistance to climb out for the water breaks. Up front sous-chef striker Steve was keen to make an impression before his departure to northern climes.

The reds were the first to set out their stall: fresh fruit and veg with some 3^rd rate tech. Iphone 5 anyone? The blacks went for leather products and some cheap men’s underwear.

The reds got off to a flying start with the beast finally learning how to put his soccer shoes on the right feet before unleashing a display of goal scoring brilliance. Some great passing interchanges released the Ibrahimovic wannabee on the edge of the box and he didn’t disappoint, slamming the ball into the corner of the goal. No-one was more surprised than Kai that the ball nestled in the net. Reds 1-0 Blacks. Meanwhile, wee Eddie was unleashing his super-power and gliding through the metaverse creating havoc all over the pitch. However, his teammates hadn’t fully charged their batteries and couldn’t stay with him.

Road runner Alan snuffed everything out at the back for the reds, allowing big Al to fully utilise all of  his arms and legs to set up multiple attacks for the reds. Sure enough the multi-appendaged big man put Kai through on goal and the big man opened his legs and showed his class! A quick tip-tap between his feet and bang! Another ball in the back of the net. The reds were cruising (they’d booked the latest big boat out of Malaga!) Reds 2-0 Blacks.

As the solar powered blacks started to get going, the balance of the game began to shift. Silky Swede Mats put his tennis racquet to one side and started to influence the game with some great link play with (to you-to me) Han. As the blacks started to create more space, sous-chef Steve saw his opportunity to leave a goalscoring legacy, and sure enough his conversion rate went from 1:150 down to 1:2, as the cordon bleu striker banged his second chance into the top corner. Reds 2-1 Blacks. The reds were fired up and big Al led the charge to stretch the reds’ lead passing the ball into “just one more pass” Colin. For once, it paid off and big Al fired the ball home into the bottom corner to give the reds some breathing space. Reds 3-1 Blacks.

Wonders never cease, and before you could say “let’s have 5 euros for the whip”, Kai, who had been transformed overnight into one of Europe’s best strikers, volleyed a great shot into the top corner to give the reds a comfortable 4-1 lead. With the late introduction of QPR 3^rd team reserve reject Keef and the skilful wing-wizard Paul, the dynamic of the game shifted dramatically with the blacks increasingly dominating play. Sure enough, la plancha demon Steve kept his team in the game with a couple of blinding goals which I’m assured road runner Alan in goal has taken full responsibility for. Reds 4-3 Blacks. With Paul having a blinder down the left the reds grew in confidence and finally managed to work an opening for the hard-working big Al. While 4 of his 6 legs had run out of steam, he was still able to work an angle and brilliantly fire a shot into the bottom corner to make it 5-3 to the reds. However, with Keef galvanising the team with his unbounding enthusiasm (to make up for his two left feet) the blacks manufactured a couple of great goals from ice-cold (former tennis No 1) Mats. Reds 5-5 Blacks. With time running out (football as a metaphor for life), the reds finally sealed it with a great move involving big Al, Colin and Paul. The skilful wingman Paul, scored a beauty from a wide angle, drilling the ball into the bottom corner of the goal. A sensational ending to a great game.

Big shout-out to Steve Loasby for trying to control the rampant runners. All the guys repaired to the bar to discuss the future of Walking Football and ……zzzzzzzzzzzzzz anyway, surprise surprise, another meeting was deemed necessary. Hasta Luego.