Benalmadena 24th February

Match reports by Rory and Steve

Faster Farts Game report by Steve – Reds 0 Blacks 2

Two games today and this report covers the young farts match. Prior to kick off Keith welcomed Mats and Kaj today and new member Johnny. We also welcome back Steve Loasby to referee today.

Kick Off.

Both teams were soon into their stride in what was an evenly matched contest.

Our two Swedish members, Kaj and Mats visiting on their mid-term break, seemed to be well into the contest. The score remained goalless for the first 30 minutes. This was due to Keith in goal for the blacks who yet again pulled off a number of top saves to frustrate the reds.

Unfortunately, a hamstring injury caused Hans to retire and shortly afterwards a knee injury forced Kevo into goal.

Down to six farts, things looked bleak for the blacks but Keith pulled a master stroke by signing Johnny up as a sub. His passing skills helped re-balance the game for the blacks.

And just after the half hour mark the blacks deservedly took the lead through a well worked goal from Kaj following a neat passing play. The blacks increased their lead shortly after thanks to Dave who continued his recent “goalden” streak.

In response the reds, urged on by Keith and strangely enough, coached, by Steve, tried to get back into the contest. However, the blacks defence held firm and the final score was 2-0. Handshakes all round and off to the bar. Monday is a holiday so Tuesday is the next WF fest. Olaf is bringing his famous “pigs in wardrobes”…so don’t be late!

Slower Farts Game report by Rory – Welcome to the football metaverse

As all followers of Walking Football know, your favourite match correspondent is not short of long-windedness. Multiple pundits plead for a shorter, crisper summary of events. Well I’m delighted to tell you….it ain’t going to happen, so just get over it. Anyway, back to matters pertaining to kicking the high-grade butyl bladders around a patch of greenery.

The blacks suffered an early setback when Welsh Steve had to pull-out during the warm up with toe-nail knack. Some thoughtful reorganisation ended up with the blacks playing with turbo-charged Dave the Cab as a fly goalie and (spoiler alert), probably one of the best goalkeeping performances ever seen on the hallowed plastic at the Polideportivo. Alan shored up the defence, nurturing his very cultured left foot. Big Mick was an imposing presence in the blacks midfield, while the mercurial Bambi ploughed a furrow down the wing and the dangerous mystery Hungarian reincarnation of Ferenc Puskas. The new boy was quite happy to weave his way past any number of English players in a recreation of Hungary’s demolition of England 6-3 at Wembley in 1953.

Despite the overwhelming power of footballing talent facing them, the reds were confidently set up with the Fish taking the gloves and the injury prone Rory at the back. The commander was busy as ever, providing a pivotal role in the reds’ midfield. Brian provided a neat link between defence and midfield with his accurate passing (Opta: 94% pass completion), Dave weaved some lovely wing play, supporting goal-hanger Mike leading the line for the reds.

Despite the man advantage, the blacks gave a good early account of themselves, with Dave taking advantage of his fly-goalie role and making some strong forays into the reds half. The ghost of Puscas was everywhere, although Italian Mafia funded referee Breck had to pull him up a few times for running. The reds’ man advantage eventually started to tell, with Mike Rory and Dave all being guilty of peppering the goal with shots, but failing to beat spiderman Dave who pulled of a string of remarkable saves. Against the run of play, big Mick managed to scuff the ball to wing-wizard Bambi, who with a fluidity of movement cushioned the ball on his right peg and drilled the ball into the bottom corner.

Although initially stunned the reds knew that if they continued with their shot count (Opta: 100 shots / 96 on target), they would eventually beat Dave in the blacks’ goal. The hoiking of Puscas into the “so-called” faster game resulted in a re-balancing of the teams with the Fish switching to the blacks. Mike upfront for the reds continued to find space, but somehow he had found himself wearing Romelu Lukaku’s boots resulting in an inability to hit a barn door. The reds slick passing moves flowing from Brian through the midfield up to Mike eventually delivered a great ball into the path of Dave who calmly side-footed the ball into the goal from an acute angle. 1-1 and the reds were flying.

With Dave the cab urging his team on and big Mick providing a physical presence further forward the blacks were starting to look dangerous. The Fish was proving dangerous, moving out from deep positions and always delivering a good pass. Bambi came close on a couple of occasions and big Mick’s toe fired in a couple of howitzers on the reds’ goal. By this time the Commander was fly goalie and he comfortably dealt with all that was thrown at him as well as playing some cultured pass and move football out from the back. However, the reds found their mojo with some lovely flowing passing moves resulting in a glut of goals. One of the best involved Mike making a sharp turn on the edge of the box before cushioning the ball perfectly for Rory to slide the ball into the gaping goal.

The blacks were far from beaten though and big Mick scored a classic centre forward’s strike from outside the box which the Commander could only parry into the roof of the net. This was followed by a moment of controversy. The reds took a leaf out of Pep’s book, Brian to Rory to Mike to Dave and bang into the back of the net. However, the official at Stockley Park (Lucca Brasi “sleeps with the fishes”) ruled it out for running, leading to another 100million lire going into Breck’s pocket. The reds finally killed off the game when Rory threaded the ball through to Mike who finally got the goal he deserved, with a neat finish tucked into the net . Despite Breck adding on Fergie time the reds held on for a 5-2 victory. What a game. Everyone was involved and made a telling contribution, and the game was played in a good spirit. Well played lads.