Time until the next game at Benalmadena Polideportivo

Match report by Rory 

Walking Football Dazzles the Polideportivo on a Tuesday

Welcome punters to a surprise turnout of the footballers who occasionally walk, at the Polideportivo on Tues 1 March. Our mysterious (and weirdly absent) leader put together two teams which on paper looked well matched. But as your correspondent has said many times before, the great game ain’t played on paper!!

The blacks looked strong up front with Dave the Owl in the hole, feeding of the classic bustling centre forward Big Al. Backed up with some midfield guile from Glyn and Peter and a solid defence provided by the cultured boot of Steve and sweeper Peter. With Olaf providing a great outlet on the left flank, the blacks looked set to pressurise the reds. The dynamic Dazza took the gloves for the first quarter.

The reds started out with the Commander as a fly goalie and Johnny the mystery Hungarian with the ball magnets in his boots playing deep. Kevo took up his usual position in the heart of defence with the freedom to move forward. Colin glided into some great positions in midfield, supported by Rory. Dave drifted wide in an effort to stretch the blacks’ defence. Upfront, the reds had the untried partnership of big Kai (Havertz) and Bambi, jinking his way down the wing.

The early exchanges were unsurprisingly tentative as each team tested the opposition’s defences. The quality of play was high as usual, as both teams knocked the ball into feet and provided plenty of runners off the ball. The reds initially took leaf out of the dearly departed Bielsa playbook and attempted to close down Big Al and Dave to snuff out the goal threat. This started to pay dividends as rampaging striker Kai began to find some space upfront. Eventually, the big man was given one chance too many and stroked the ball nicely home from an acute angle. The reds were deservedly ahead. The blacks pushed hard to get back into the game, and while the reds were focussed on snuffing out the goal threat of Big Al and Dave, milky Steve ghosted up from the back before striking a beauty from long range into the goal. 1-1.

As the game progressed, the spaces began to open up, and with it the goal opportunities. Both Big Al and Dave went close for the blacks, and the Commander had to pull off a couple of good saves in front of a capacity crowd of under 14s. Kevo and Johnny provided a solid base for the reds to attack and more opportunities arose for the marauding strike force. Bambi was looking increasingly dangerous down the right flank and eventually got his just deserts for some tricky wing-play when he drilled the ball home from a difficult angle.

With Kevo in goal, the Commander settled into a deep midfield role where he could dictate the play, supported by the ghost of Ferenc Puscas, who was spraying some penetrative passes into the reds’ mobile forward line. The reds quickly established a 4-1 lead with further goals from Kai and Rory. In front of the capacity crowd Rory seized onto a rare loose ball from Dazza to advance on Steve in goal. Steve summoned up the ghost of Billy McNeill and ensured his bootmaker’s emblem was firmly tattooed on the Irishman’s shin. However, surprisingly Rory stayed on his feet, rounded the Lisbon Lion and stroked the ball into the empty net. The assembled crowd of piss-taking junior Spanish football wannabees erupted. Espana! Espana!

With Dazza providing some extra energy in the blacks engine room and drilling some defence splitting balls, the blacks were far from out of it. The blacks rallied well with Dave showing how cool he can be in front of goal scoring a brace to try and rein the reds in. However with Kevo out from between the sticks the reds began to slice through the blacks defensive lines. Kevo had adjusted his range finders before firing in a hat-trick of long-range shots to break the hearts of the gallant blacks. This was matched by Kai’s efforts who also bagged himself a hat-trick. Fortunately, with 10 balls, there were unlikely to be any arguments between the big men about who would keep the match ball. Troublesome winger Bambi secured a brace with his trade-mark low drive into the corner of the goal followed by a celebratory summersault and back flip. The game ended 9 (or 10)-3 to the reds which hardly seemed fair on the hard-working blacks. Another good game played in a good spirit.