23rd October

Match report by Rory

“It’s good for the garden”.

Monday provided a rare opportunity for the aged football wanabees to play joyously together in one big game, although the persistent drizzle or (much needed rain as they say in these parts) tried to put a bit of a dampener on proceedings. The teams looked a tad unbalanced, with the blacks containing dynamic (shoot from anywhere) Garry up front, supported by Bambi who is just behind Stephen in the race for the club record for starting the greatest number of arguments in a game.

The blacks sensibly played Kaj at the back thereby reducing the reds’ chances of scoring a goal by 98 percent. The blacks played with two classy overlapping “inverted” wing backs, Rick and Boris. They’re attacking verve was enhanced by record gaelic football points scorer Dazza on the right and (‘ello, ‘ello, ‘ello what’s this ‘ere then) Kevin deployed down the left so he could use his cultured left foot (which recently conducted Beethoven’s 5^th at the Town Hall in Arroyo), to create chances for his voracious forward line.

Kevin formed a strong partnership with Dave the Cab, and this was to prove decisive as the match progressed. Wrexham’s Steve was well positioned to disrupt any attacks from the reds. Quiet man Ian stealthily played his way through the middle, and yours truly popped on the gloves, not because I wanted to go in goal, but because it was so cold.

The reds had a strong spine comprising Stephen, Kevo, our Keef, and sharp studded Johnny Giles-alike, Eoghan. Audrey supported Kevo in defence with Peter the Fish swimming down the right flank.  Pirate Pete looked solid in midfield, ensuring the reds had an uncompromising solid defensive set up.

It quickly became clear that that the blacks were the more dominant team and soon amassed 763 shots at the goal to the reds’ one.  Unfortunately, very few of these efforts troubled the reds’ keeper although Garry did see a thunderbolt toe poke cannon off the post and spin away to safety. On a rare foray up the pitch the reds managed to find Alan lurking dangerously on the edge of the box. He was too far out, and the angle was tight but somehow, he managed to fire directly at Rick in goal, who seemed to have it covered. Somewhat embarrassingly, the ball squirmed through his fingers and spun over the line to give the reds the lead against the run of play. Reds 1-0 Blacks.

The blacks resumed the pressure and peppered the reds’ goal from all angles. Garry was in a holding pattern over the reds’ box and was always a good outlet for the advancing blacks. However, Kevo was having a great game at the back for the reds, and between him, Audrey and Klaus, the blacks were frustrated and unable to pick a way through. Although their attacks were infrequent, the reds still possessed a threat on the break, with our Keef putting in another tough shift and linking up well with Ken, the lone striker.

Although Bambi was tightly marked by Audrey and didn’t have much opportunity to get a shot off, he ensured that the blacks’ high press was superbly implemented with the blacks quickly recovering possession from the beleaguered reds. Under this unrelenting pressure Dave the cab reversed into space before combining well with Kevin and Garry and firing the ball into the net to put the blacks back on level terms. Reds 1-1 Blacks.

Despite our Keef’s herculean efforts to run his team back into the game, the blacks were just too good at closing things down and moving the ball around like a cut price Man City. The pressure finally told when Audrey was closed down by Bambi and passed the ball across the goal for Garry to swoop down from 10,000 feet and slide the ball into the goal with a great finish. Reds 1-2 Blacks. About time they scored following their 967^th attempt on goal. Breck had finally seen enough, and even though he allowed 10 mins for the reds to get back in it, they were never going to score another goal, especially with Welsh Wizard Steve between the sticks. Final Score Reds 1-2 Blacks.

At the conclusion of what was a pretty turgid game, the lads went to the bar to celebrate Ian’s birthday, and eventually leave much the worse for wear.