Match 1 report by Colin

Thursday presented a 9 aside fast game and with game 1 being 10 aside and easily 6-8 regulars missing we could be closing in on 3 games in the near future.

A serious plea from the Management team here, please arrive early to pay your subs and allow Geoff or Kevo or whoever is collecting monies to be able to have time to get themselves warmed up and in the team photo, parking is becoming harder so give yourselves more time.

Back to game 2, Fish and Bambi managed to stretch as much pitch out of the available space as possible and the first quarter was played out with no goals as each team were working out where the space was to get shots off on target.

The second quarter delivered 2 goals, with close marking on the edge of the box Mark picked up the ball in midfield and like the Red Sea a clear path opened up infront of him, he drilled the ball goalwards and Eddie in goal had no chance. 1-0 Reds

The equaliser was less dramatic, blacks kept control of the ball well, worked it forward to Martin who took his time and passed the ball beyond Paul in goal for a 1-1 scoreline.

Just before halftime Tommy, who’d been playing a sweeper role and generally keeping back had a surge forward, let fly with a shot and immediately announced that he was done and limped off the pitch for an early shower and a rub down with a Sporting Life, Eddie suggested it was his fetlock that he’d pulled.

So blacks played half a game with one man down but defended resolutely.

Colin whose become accustomed to being hit in the face with the ball recently had to do some stock taking after being hit lower down this time, it’s no surprise there’s no good looking defenders the way they put their bodies in the way of the ball. Anyway enough talk of balls! 😄

Dave 🚖 and Keith were both encouraging their teammates, well pointing out how badly they were playing, it was commented on by one berated teammate that if reds weren’t shooting enough why was Eddie diving around so much🤔

A moment of confusion when a whistle was heard and 2 black defenders stopped but reds in the shape of Mark correctly recognised the semi octave difference in whistles between games 1 and 2 and continued to play and scored his and reds 2nd. Just imagine 3 games with 3 whistles, I think we need to agree on 3 different noise makers: whistle, airhorn and vuvuzela 😅

Last quarter and blacks are 2-1 down, a man down and Colin unsure if he’s a ball down?!?

Dogged defending, Keith’s encouragement and a will to equalise finally paid off when somehow the ball found itself at James’s feet with time and 2 more available touches, he pushed the ball to the right with his second, gave keeper Paul the eyes and calmly slotted the ball to the left 2-2

It was just a question of wasting time for a minute or 2 now, game 1 whistle blew, it must be time, but ref John wasn’t to be dictated to and waited another 10 seconds before blowing his whistle.

2-2 the score, Fez will no doubt comment on this 😄

Rorys resume

Why am I here?

It’s common knowledge that the walking ball bashers enjoy ruminating on life’s bigger questions: is the world flat? Did England really win the World Cup? What is the point of the Carabao Cup? In Thursday’s game the lads emersed themselves in the world of existentialism, and tried to answer one of life’s bigger questions- Why am I here? – through the medium of football.
To be fair it started out more like a game of Aussie rules footie, with both teams eager to miss the target by some considerable distance. The blacks looked good in possession but lacked penetration (as the actress said to the Bishop). The reds looked strong in midfield with dynamo Joe, ably supported by ball charmer Yoza. Meanwhile classic target man Nigel did exactly what it says on the tin, and played target man.
Bambi took a leaf out of the “Man management” handbook and berated his team mates in black with a series of well-aimed insults. Meanwhile, Welsh Steve worked hard in midfield to eradicate the realisation that Wrexham were never going to make the playoffs after a crushing home defeat by Southampton. It’s the hope that kills you.
There followed half hour of total tedium and mind numbing ineptitude as both teams struggled to control the gas filled sphere. “It’s football Jim but not as we know it”. In amongst all of the poor ball control, Kevo in the blacks’ goal pulled off a few good saves from Ton, who was starting to look increasingly dangerous and was forging a good partnership with Ken.
Gradually, Nigel’s good hold up play and stealth tackling from behind started to pay dividends as he was able to bring Joe and Yoza more into the game. However, against the run of play the blacks picked out Bambi in front of goal, and in an event which is less common than a lunar eclipse, the expletive botherer smacked it into the goal to give the blacks an unexpected lead. Blacks 1-0 Reds.
The blacks were looking comfortable until Rory misplaced a pass to the ever vigilant Nigel. The big man played it out to the wing where a nice cross set up Ton to pass to ball into the corner of the goal. Nice finish. Blacks 1-1 Reds.
Although the reds were dominating possession they rarely troubled the blacks’ keeper. Joe deployed the hitherto unused practice of belting the ball straight at his opponents to open up a route through on goal. Having taken a few players out with this tactic his next thunderbolt found the back of the net. Bambi, who seemed close enough to stop the shot, recoiled as if the air around the ball was electrically charged. Blacks 1-2 Reds
The reds were now in total control and it seemed like only a matter of time before they scored another. The blacks attempts on goal were as rare as Arsenal’s chances of winning the premier league. Ton’s growing telepathic relationship with Ken started to pay off when the supersized chef pick out the mercurial wunderkind who smacked the ball into the back of the net to give the reds an unassailable lead. Blacks 1-3 Reds.
With the seconds draining away Bambi’s plaintiff call could be heard rising above the throng and being carried away by the wind….”why am I here?” There was a sympathetic response from his team mates “f**k off you t*sser!” While all this was going on, crafty Joe had made his way into an advanced position and was bearing down on the blacks’s goal. With the precision of a nuclear physicist calculating the trajectory of the re-entry of Artemis II through the earth’s atmosphere, Joe drilled the ball past Brian and into the bottom corner. Unfortunately, Brian, who had bombed out on his Geometry GCSE, accordingly got all his angles wrong for what should have been a routine save. Blacks 1-4 Reds.
The reds were deserved winners with their superior passing game. Well played everyone and thanks to Dave for keeping the game flowing. Regrettably, we never did resolve the conundrum of why we are here. Maybe we can do that another day.

Action Shots