Colins Column

Taking a close look at the team photo someone shouldn’t be there 😅

Game 1 was a 7 a-side game on a smaller pitch which did encourage a few long shots but more on that later.

Some very controlled football with good passing and no running eased us all in. New boy Paul was getting to grips with no tackling and no heading but he certainly knew where the back of the net was.

A nice team build up from the back found Paul on the right and he squeezed in a debutants goal to put blacks 1-0 up

Not to be out done Dazza fizzed in an equaliser for the reds.

Bambi with his shooting boots on again restored the blacks lead and we went in for water.

A mad 2 minutes resumed the game, with Geoff still putting his gloves on Dazza struck from within his own half and scored a disallowed goal, somehow the game resumed with blacks retaking the kick off and another goal bound attempt came fizzing in, Geoff had his gloves on now but was well outside his area when saving the shot, penalty.

Kevo slotted home the spot kick 2-2

Geoff used to scoring own goals whilst keeping suddenly started throwing himself around stopping anything heading towards goal and dispite some earlier missed chances Dave 🦉 scored the winner for blacks.

We’re counting down the games til the end of the season and post game conversation centred on how “good” the referee was in our game and that he may need a new pea in his whistle or maybe blow a bit harder.

Suggestions of everyone should ref a game on a rotation fell mostly on deaf ears.

Anyhow onto Thursday and hopefully less controversy 😅

Rorys Ramblings

Monday’s game was awash with thrills, spills and outstanding football moments to warm the heart.

Ok it wasn’t, but I felt it was a good opening line and just wanted to use it anyway. With a final score of 5-0 it’s impossible to believe that this was quite a close encounter between two well-matched teams.

Dazza’s failure to get out of bed in time consigned him to game 1. With Alvin switching to the reds in game 2.

The first ten minutes were tight with neither team threatening the opposition goal.

Just as the game was beginning to resemble an opening at the match Club World Cup (with a similar number of spectators) Prak, Tommy and Dave the Cab threw together a three-man improv clown car crash.

Under no pressure whatsoever, Prak passed the ball back to Tommy, who decided to leave for Dave in goal. Unfortunately, Dave was taking the “rush goalie” thing a bit too far and was too busy overlapping down the right wing to notice that he should have been in goal to prevent the ball from trickling over the line.

Reds 1-0 Blacks

The game quickly reverted to both teams cancelling each other out with the occasional misplaced shots keeping Sonic’s grandchildren busy. Rory had meanwhile set up experimental microbe analysis centre to try and determine precisely what were the strange cultures growing in the goalkeeping gloves.

Meanwhile, his hands had started to turn green having worn the gloves for his first stint in goal.

The blacks made their next big mistake when putting Glyn in goal. Whatever possessed them to believe that this was a good idea. Sure enough, the big man delivered the next calamity for the blacks when he attempted to dribble out from the back. He’d already used one touch when he attempted to weave his way past Fez.

Surprise surprise, Fez whipped the ball off Glyn’s big toe and used his newly discovered right foot to smack it into the empty goal. Reds 2-0 Blacks.

Strangely, the game was still tight with Dave the cab, Steve Mc and Gert passing some pretty patterns and fashioning some sharp chances.

Steve deployed his superpower to good effect, ensuring that everyone was engaged in an argument with everyone else. This looked like it might work, with Prak, Gert and Steve himself all firing off shots which almost went near the goal.

The reds had a solid defence based on the strong foundations provided by two fine exponents of tackles from behind Pete and Alvin.

Just as they looked like they might be getting back into it, the blacks then had a collective meltdown from which Jim was the primary beneficiary scoring three goals in quick succession.

Two of the chances were the result of defensive errors by the bumbling blacks’ defence presenting Jim with a couple of gilt-edged chances which he calmly put away. The third was a lovely volley with his left peg which he buried in the top corner (the ball, not his left leg).  Blacks 5-0 Reds

The reds captain Dave the fox took a leaf out of Jose Mourinho’s book by proceeding to park the bus in front of their goal in an effort to keep hold of their five-goal advantage.

Jim went on to show why he is Scotland’s sixty-fifth choice goalkeeper by pulling off a couple of fine saves to prevent the blacks from salvaging any pride from the game.

Given the paucity of the jocks’ goalkeeping resources, he’s sure to get a game in the next World Cup qualifier when they’re up against Outer Mongolia at Hamden. Final Score Reds 5-0 Blacks.

The chaps then went to the bar to discuss why so many blokes of a certain age are called Dave. Another of life’s great mysteries.

Meanwhile the goalkeeping gloves crept off into the undergrowth to contemplate initiating the next global pandemic.

Hot off the press …Update on the WFS San Juan festivities now posted on the website. Please make sure that if you have put your name down, that you have paid the 10e per person to Geoff BEFORE the event!