4th April

Match report by Rory

It was a full-size game for the walking bladder bashers at the gloriously sunny Polideportivo. There was a good turnout, which enabled Breck to select some well-balanced teams with plenty of “runners” and riders. Breck threw an early curveball by announcing it would be reds against blacks. The excitement was palpable.

As the whistle got proceedings underway Stephen for the blacks, tossed in an early debate about the ball pressure, with a further segue into pounds per square in vs the kilopascal. Although this diversionary tactic momentarily bamboozled the reds’ defence, the solid partnership of running not walking Dave, and chopper Harris avatar Kevin, kept the blacks at bay. There was some nice pass and move football by the reds in the first session, with both teams finding it difficult to breakdown some pretty solid defending.

Wing commander Gary was in a holding pattern for the reds over the blacks’ penalty area and made some good runs into space (ground control etc…). His specially enhanced big toe was primed to drill the ball in the direction of the opposition goal. However, he must have wished he’d trimmed his toenails before the game as some of his early efforts threatened the paintwork. Our Keef was playing his usual right back; right wing; left midfield; centre forward position. No, don’t ask me where he was playing.

The reds’ slightly more stylish approach play finally opened up a chance for Gary’s big toe. Sure enough, the digitally enhanced appendage brutally drilled the ball across the keeper and into the far corner to give the reds a deserved lead. Reds 1-0 Blacks.

As the game meandered forward, the blacks were beginning to gain more control of midfield. Big Nigel was giving another commanding centre forward’s display, ably supported by the mercurial Ken, ghosting into space. Against the run of play, the reds had the chance to extend their lead when Breck controversially awarded a penalty for someone’s eyebrow hair breaking the vertical plane of the box. Never one to pass up the opportunity for a shot, Colin stepped forward for the reds to take the crucial kick against the imposing Kevo in goal. Having just completed his CSE in goalkeeping kidology, Kevo smartly got into Colin’s head and brilliantly saved the goal bound shot, keeping the score at 1-0.

The blacks seized on this opportunity the grab a goal their increasing dominance warranted. Stephen popped out in on the right of the box to fire one across Ian in goal. As the ball fizzed towards the far corner, Ian threw in an impromptu display of the Riverdance with each balletic adjustment of his feet taking him farther away from the ball. This supreme display of intricate footwork couldn’t prevent the ball from trickling into the far corner of the goal, bringing the scores level. Reds 1-1 Blacks

This was quickly followed by an equally bizzarre goal for the blacks to take them into a deserved lead. Ian bravely got behind a thunderbolt from the edge of the box but unfortunately deflected the ball onto the legs of your hapless correspondent on the edge of the box. The ball then proceeded to pop up nicely for Alex to fizz it past the helpless Ian to give the blacks a 2-1 lead. Reds 1-2 Blacks.

Salt was further rubbed into the reds’ wounds when Ken was brilliantly put through on the edge of the box. Having brilliantly brought the ball under control on the edge of the box, the inside forward caressed the ball into the far corner to put the final result beyond doubt. Reds 1-3 Blacks.

Johnny Dave and Keef were combining well to force the blacks into their final third, although their tight defensive low block left little room for Gary or Mike to run into, even with the latter’s numerous dangerous flicks and lay-offs. With the clock doing what clocks do, the reds were fast running out of time, although those familiar with the theory of relativity will know that time can’t travel any faster than it does. Kapiche? With the blacks’ high press keeping the reds hemmed in back in their own half, a brilliant out ball found Mike on his own in space up front. The Dundee hardman kept his cool, gave the Kaj the eyes and calmly side footed the ball into the corner of the goal. Unfortunately, too little too late. Reds 2-3

A thoroughly good game played in a great spirit. Well played lads.