11th March

Match 1 report by Geoff

BLACKS….4 versus REDS….3

Another excellent turnout at the Polideportivo on Monday necessitating two 7 aside matches to be played.

The match by this reporter was played on the premier pitch nearest the bar, surprisingly Keef didn’t take advantage of this, not staying for a drink of any sort afterwards.

In the first half, albeit goalless, there was nevertheless some excellent 3 touch football football played by both teams.

0-0 at break.

At the beginning of the second second session Colin, making a rare appearance, scored to put the Reds one up leaving Fred in the Blacks goal flat footed with his excellent shot.

Following some excellent 3 touch passing, Bambi for the Blacks went close with a terrific shot, the ball scraping the paint off the post, leaving the Owl in the Reds goal to comment he had it covered!

John H then put the Reds two up, albeit his first shot was well saved by Gooner Fred in the Blacks goal, unfortunately for him rebounding straight to the scorer who made no mistake with his second shot.

Colin for the Reds was deservedly sin binned for continually running with the ball, this despite repeated warnings from Fireman Sam the match referee.

Garry for the Blacks then went close with a left foot drive only to see the Owl in the Reds goal make a superb save.

2-0 to Reds at end of second session.

At the beginning of the third session, the Owl now playing in midfield proved that despite his failing legs and age his twinkle toes still had a bit of life in them, making a terrific dribble through the Blacks defence to then smash the ball past Keef in the Blacks goal.

3-0 to Reds.

Not to be outdone, Bambi much quieter than normal pulled one back for the Blacks with a  good  shot into the bottom left corner of the Reds goal.

3-1 to Reds.

Old stager Ken K then hit a great back pass to John H, his    shot uncharacteristically flew over the Blacks crossbar, a bad miss, when he would normally have put the ball into the back of the net thereby almost certainly putting the result beyond doubt.

This miss would eventually prove critical in the end result.

End 3rd session 3-1 to Reds.

In final session two quick goals for the Blacks made the scores level, one of which by Garry from a cleverly taken quick free kick.

3-3.

John aka Fireman Sam played at least 5 minutes additional time, then with the last kick of the match Garry hit a long range drive past ‘Fish’ in the Reds goal to put the Blacks in front for the first time.

Rumours of match fixing abounded around the bar balcony afterwards which Fireman Sam strongly refuted!

FT: 4-3 to Blacks.

PS:Shot of the match was undoubtedly by Colin on the Reds goal, the ball flew over the high safety netting surrounding the pitch, nearly hitting the solar panelling on the restaurant roof only to then bounce down onto the balcony and then almost clearing the safety netting back onto the pitch.

Match 2 report by Rory

Walking football Spain does Strictly…..

With another fantastic turnout at the Poli, Breck and the Commander conspired to once again challenge the laws of physics and dancing by organizing a slow, slow game and quick slow game. The cerebrally challenged toe pokers weren’t sure whether they were coming or going, or indeed carrying out a calcified version of the now defunct military two-step. The slow, slow, quick quick, slow game had two interesting line-ups with surprisingly, the blacks versus the reds.

The blacks had big Nigel up front, renowned for eating more herring than Earling Haaland, although this fact didn’t exactly help his eyesight in front of goal. He was well supported by Alex, who not only showed tremendous skill on the ball but had an amazing ability to extend his legs to twice their original length, enabling him to snuff out any embryonic red forays forward. It was immediately apparent to even the most neanderthal of the reds, that he was going to be a threat. Wiley Welsh Wrexham diehard supporter Steve (it’s the hope that kills you) started out as an inverted wing-back down the right, with ice-cool stylish, swish Swiss centre back Klaus sitting deep alongside Martin, making up a useful defensive duo. Meanwhile tough tackling terrier (walking not running) Dave scurried about in midfield, making the reds wish they’d worn some shin pads. Footballing historian and font of all knowledge, flick on Mike, ghosted his way between the lines alongside Nigel up front.

But the reds were no shrinking violets (ok, maybe just a little), with prop forward Kevo controlling the midfield, supported by your wobbly legged correspondent (I can’t stand up for falling down). Three chord Steve was lying deep (down, deeper ‘n down). Olaf, fresh from a successful loan spell in the Bundesliga took up his favourite position at left midfield, with goal-scoring wizard and Ivan Toney wannabee Dave, buzzing around the blacks’ goal. Meanwhile, Ian gradually moved forward into a more advanced position where his amazing knee pass was capable of wrong footing the opposition’s defence.

The reds had the best of the early exchanges even though they’d temporarily forgotten where the goal was. Gradually, the dynamism (another word for running?) of Dave and Alex enabled them to wrestle back control of the ball and make best use of target man Nigel, who did more backing in than a group of Spanish drivers trying to park at Higueron. The reds held strong with stylish Ivan Campo-esque defender Boris always picking out a good pass. The blacks had the most chances but weren’t helped by their habit of kicking the ball straight at the keeper, or when it looked easier to score, blasting the ball over the bar (and you know who you are!)

Against the run of play, the reds went ahead when yours truly managed to stay on his feet long-enough to fire the ball through Mike’s bandy legs (a consequence of being brought up in the deprived tenements of Dundee) into the blacks’ goal. Game on! Reds 1-0 Blacks.

The blacks responded by creating a series of easy chances which they remarkable failed to convert, with both Alex and Nigel missing some sitters. As the match progressed, the reds were increasingly confident that their luck was in, and they could pull off an unlikely win. Just when they thought the impossible was possible, a loose wire in Boris’s gyroscope caused him to amble aimlessly into his own penalty box when there was no apparent threat from the opposition. Breck had no option (well he did really) but to award a penalty. Up stepped Alex, who’d been playing a blinder. A goal looked certain until for some reason he blasted it straight at Dave in goal, who was unable to get out of the way in time. What a save.

With Ian leading the reds’ high press, the blacks continued to struggle to break the reds down, and it was looking like they would regret their profligacy in front of goal. However, with a great exchange of passes between Dave and Nigel dragging your scribe out of position, Kevo was left exposed at the back. A neat ball through to Alex enabled the midfield dynamo to stroke the ball comfortably past Steve in goal for a much-deserved equaliser. Reds 1-1 Blacks.

With time running out, the blacks were unable to secure the winning goal they probably deserved. Thanks to some last ditch defending from Kevo and Boris, the reds managed to cling on for an unlikely draw. At the final whistle the guys shuffled off to the bar to learn how to pull off an Argentinian Tango in time for Thursday’s game.