Time until the next game at Benalmadena Polideportivo

Match report by Rory

What is running? Apparently running is a method of terrestrial locomotion allowing humans and other animals to move rapidly on foot. It is a type of gait characterised by an aerial phase in which all feet are above the ground. This, friends was the existential crisis experienced in the so called fast game in which there was an abundance of perambulation at speed where both feet of the protagonists left the earth at the same time.

Stephen would definitely have enjoyed Monday’s marathon debate about the very essence of the game. Sadly our most prolific debater of all things mundane was absent from Monday’s game of football, masquerading as walking football.

The sides looked surprisingly well matched with an equal distribution of “dirty” players willing to kick a pensioner to the ground. The first quarter featured some stylish football with the ball being passed fluently between people wearing the same coloured bibs.

You could tell John hadn’t played for a while with his enthusiasm for play matching the playfulness of a rabid Doberman eager for blood. His freshly sharpened studs left their mark, but couldn’t take away from the majestic play which resulted in the soon to be disappointed Arsenal fan (Arsenal 1-2 Lens) drilling a brilliant shot past the fearful reds keeper, Jonny seemingly diving away from the ball as it rocketed past him. Blacks 1-0 Reds.

This early setback was a surprise for the reds with Pete and Dave providing a solid back four and Dave the Cab and Rory making for a dynamic “running” midfield. Our Keef provided the movement up front to stretch the blacks’ defence. The Blacks had an equally good team of people who could run and kick the ball at the same time. Skilful Souness impersonator Frank started strongly, showing off his silky skills and setting up a number of attacks for the blacks.

Dazza once again proved how it is  possible to defy the laws of gravity with a football by leaving a couple in a low orbit above the earth. Total football Han showed that the Dutch weren’t averse to sticking their foot in when the situation demanded it and Kevo glided about at the back as usual while pleading with his teammates to play the simple ball….its the hope that kills you!

The reds were allowed back into the game when (the bloke who Kevo calls Dave, but that’s not his name!) wandered into the penalty area conceding an unnecessary penalty. Up steps yours truly when everyone else realised they would have to boot the ball past Kevo, an almost impossible task. However, your cub reporter bashed the ball successfully past the big man to level the scores.

The bloke who Kevo calls Dave (but that’s not his real name) was having a blinder on the left and unleashed his rocket launcher shot on more than one occasion thereby creating a couple of holes in the surrounding fencing and alerting Spanish air defences to a possible hostile air attack.

The blacks remained in control in the first half of the game and asserted their authority by moving ahead with goals from Dazza (another brilliant strike), and John who was put through following a casual piece of play by your correspondent. Lets just say our Keef was not happy.

As the game wore on the Reds found that they could run more than the blacks and this soon resulted in a quick turnaround in the scores, assisted in no small part from some calamitous goalkeeping from Dazza allowing yours truly to bag a goal from his own half. With Frank dropping back into goal, the blacks lost of their creative threat, and although he was a useful goalie, he also had a tendency to wander too far out of goal when least expected.

Our Keef turned the knife by striking the ball off Dazza and into the goal to even the scores 3-3 and putting the reds into the ascendancy. Jonny was having more influence for the reds, but there were times when he should have taken a pop rather than making one more pass. With our Keef racking up another couple of beautifully taken goals the blacks ran out of steam and were roundly put to the sword by the marauding running / not walking reds.

By the end, the score of Blacks 3-6 Reds seemed a tad harsh on the blacks who had played a good game without the same level of luck as the reds. Our Keef got to keep the match ball after a sublime performance and the lads popped up to the bar to discuss the nature of running.