Benalmadena 12th June

Match Report by Rory

With the arrival of summer at the Poli, the players in the fast game had a look of trepidation in their eyes as well as copious amounts of factor 30+. It looked like we were in for a cracking game if the old gits could last an hour of energy sapping tikka takka toe poking. The reds looked a strong outfit with Nigel providing the focal point up front supported by an energetic midfield / defence comprising Keef, Big Al, Little Al and medium sized Al (Ed: wasn’t medium sized Al playing for the blacks?), Kevo the hovering libero and Dazza starting out between the sticks.

The blacks played with wee Eddie as a false number nine. Rick started out deep (down deeper ‘n down) on the left flank, attacking when necessary to support the midfield of yours truly, and Stephen started out with the gloves, deploying a new range of existential debates, to confuse the opposition. After a long break from the footie, WFS welcomed back Alvin (Alan), who played sweeper for the reds.

Both sides played with a rush keeper to try and make the game a little bit less exhausting. The teams were a bit wary of giving anything away early on, with lots of passes being exchanged without carrying much of a threat for either goal. Referee Fireman John kept a strong check on any running, much to the chagrin of all of the compulsive runners on the pitch.  But of course, everyone knew that Stephen was bound to drop a clanger, it would only be a matter of time. Sure enough while seemingly taking advantage of being rush keeper, the holder of an Olympic Gold for debating found himself well out of goal when the ball found its way to little Al in midfield. The blacks were caught badly out of position. However, the grieving Revie Era Leeds man picked his spot. Although Stephen made a brilliant effort to get back, he hilariously contrived to leap over the ball when saving it would have been easier. Reds 1-0 Blacks.

After the calamitous start, the blacks could only get better. Stephen came out of goal where his clown antics would be less damaging and proceeded to orchestrate a number of free-flowing passing moves for the blacks. Wee Eddie started to find some space up front and the blacks began to look increasingly dangerous. The deserved equaliser came from an unlikely source when Rick stealthily made his way down the left flank. Dazza, not to be outdone by Stephen showed that he too could make a hash of being rush keeper. Rick spotted his opportunity as the wheels dropped off Dazza’s clown car, and brilliantly chipped the ball over the wreckage into the empty goal.

With the intense heat taking its toll on the players, Nigel had to retire into goal resulting in the reds losing their attacking focal point. Keef was doing a brilliant job of stretching the blacks with his energetic attacking play, and with big Al prepared to have a go from anywhere it would only be a matter of time before the reds started hitting the target……Or maybe not. Stephen whose previous 26 shots had behaved like the goal had a forcefield around it, finally hit the target with a great low drive into the corner of the net. Reds 1-2 Blacks.

The reds were given their big chance when Alvin caught the curse of the rush keeper and was well out of goal as the ball sailed over his head towards the empty net. As he leapt up salmon-like to prevent a goal the ref had no option but to give a penalty. Cometh the hour cometh the man and up stepped big Al to blaze the ball past the upright. The blacks were reinvigorated by this stroke of luck and your dedicated pen man scored the third goal as the reds strangely took up some formation back pedalling towards their own goal thus presenting yours truly with a clear shot. Reds 1-3 Blacks.

A bad morning got even worse for big Al when for some obscure reason known only to him he wandered into his own penalty area. John the ref has never had an easier decision to make. Fortunately for big Al, Stephen decided to show his previously unseen capacity for empathy and blasted the ball against the post, encouraged by Nigel’s mind games in goal. Although the reds were still in it, Alvin was having a blinder in the blacks’ goal and made a string of fine saves to keep the blacks ahead.  The game was finally finished off when Nigel in the reds’ goal rolled the ball straight onto wee Eddie’s big toe and straight back into his own goal. A rather inauspicious end to what was a great energetic game of footie. Final score Reds 1-4 Blacks.

The game was free-flowing thanks to some good refereeing from John. After the game, the lads headed off to the bar to discuss some of life’s deep philosophical questions.