Benalmadena 22nd May

Slow farts Match Report by Geoff

BLACKS ….3 versus REDS ….2

Yet another late no show no doubt due to the inclement weather and threat of rain meant in the 6 aside old farts game the Reds had to play with a rush goalie, being a player short.

The Blacks took an early lead through Graham following some neat inter passing between Sergei and Sonic.

After the first water break rush goalie, Bambi, intercepted a loose ball and equalised for the Reds.

For the next 20 minutes the Reds more than held their own well organised by Dave the Cab, despite his old knee injury, who was undoubtedly getting the best out Bambi and Dave the Bus. However on the 40 minute mark following a defence splitting pass from Sergei to ‘Our Aud’ she hit a powerful shot nearly bursting the Reds net to put her team one up once again. 2-1 to Blacks.

Then on the 55 minute mark a blaster from octogenarian Walter was brilliantly tipped over the bar by Sonic who, at the time, was rush goalie for the Blacks. Walt was somewhat aghast at this save, thinking he would never score his first goal  at the Polideportivo.

On the hour mark, Klaus shot past Bambi in goal as a result of the latter fouling Audrey, whilst playing rush goalie. 3-1 to Blacks.

Then in the last minute of added time, Sonic in goal for the Blacks knowing his team had won inadvertently stepped out of his area to be harshly penalised.

Dave the Cab sportingly handed the ball to Walter thereby allowing him to blast the resultant penalty into the bottom right hand corner of the net for his first ever goal at the Polideportivo. Full time 3-2 to Blacks.

The game was played in an excellent and sporting spirit by everyone, none more so than Bambi.

Man of the match undoubtedly Sonic for his one fantastic save and suspiciously stepping out of his area in the last seconds thereby allowing Walter the honour of scoring his first ever goal at the Polideportivo. Such a gesture was truly in the spirit of the game which Keef has always lauded as the true ethos of our club and WFS.. Others who will remain nameless please note.

At the end of the game, everyone retired to the bar, where, as a celebration of his birthday, Rick provided a large selection of tapas for the players. Thanks Rick!

Fast farts Match Report by Rory

Woe betides anyone thinking they can have a good time and a laugh in the marginally faster game. This is deadly serious and don’t any of yews lot forget it!!

As all you long-time plodders know a new rule was introduced to prevent those that can, from running back and depriving an opposing striker from booting the ball past the post for fear of giving away a penalty, which would also be booted past the post. This tweak to the rules was unanimously accepted by the cerebrally challenged ball bashers. But as we all know, not even VAR can eliminate human error!

Anyway, on with the game. The reds had a great team that looked full of goals and great passing and movement. Jesus was determined to make up for Arsenal choking at the end of the season and looked like there were some goals in those Adidas Team boots. Keef who started in goal, had the haunted look of a man who had been on the receiving end of 5 defeats on the trot and was determined to set the record straight. One touch Colin was looking more energetic than usual and took up his position on the opposition goal-line. Total football Han slotted into his favourite midfield position where he could direct the play. New boy Simon cut a skilful figure down the left. Although Kevo initially started outfield, he soon moved between the sticks because of his troublesome right knee.

Although the blacks had fewer flair players there was a solidity about them which made them look difficult to break down. Burfday boy Rick took up his usual floating role (yep, we didn’t know where he was playing). Pete (they shall not pass) played libero supported by Breck and Laurence with Nigel playing the lone striker up front. Yours truly was the gloveman for the first quarter. As expected, the reds confidently stroked the ball about the pitch with total football Han and Jesus making some nice passing patterns with newboy Simon. They were egged on by encouraging cries from Colin (nice play buddy!).

However, the more direct play by the blacks soon yielded results when lone striker Nigel was put through on goal and slotted past Keef to open his account. Keef was soon replaced by Kevo in goal, and bizarrely gifted the blacks another goal by passing out to an unsuspecting Simon who was robbed of the ball by nimble footed Rick who calmly passed the ball into an open goal. Surprisingly the blacks were up by 2 in the first quarter. Reds 0-1 Blacks.

Kevo soon made up for his earlier gaff by making a string of saves to prevent Nigel from adding to his tally. At the other end, yours truly was under a barrage of shots from Simon, Colin and Jesus, making your correspondent’s like seem somewhat precarious. Unfortunately, the blacks massed ranks of defenders gave Jesus one look too many and he drilled in a low level Exocet which fizzed past your correspondent into the bottom corner. Reds 1-2 Blacks. With Colin making some great runs up front and Keef and Simon stretch the blacks’ defence it was only a matter of time before Jesus took a great pass from Simon and knocked it past Pete in goal to secure his well deserved brace.

Things were starting to look difficult for the blacks, with Pete in goal and Laurence suffering from last night’s curry, the reds soon had them chasing ghosts as Han orchestrated a series of precision moves which sliced through the despairing blacks’ defence. Simon finally got to show his goalscoring prowess after another fine move involving Keef, Han and Jesus. Reds 3-2 Blacks. With onlookers beginning to fear for the blacks, the third quarter brought a harsh lesson in pass and move football as the reds ripped through the tiring black’s backline. At the other end, Kevo was proving unbeatable as the blacks desperately tried to level the game. Colin’s great movement upfront opened up the blacks to provide the Welshman with a fantastic brace and leave the blacks in tatters.

The blacks were down, but not out and rallied in the last quarter. Maybe it was due to a bit of complacency on the part of the reds who appeared to be well out of sight. With Breck and Pete shoring up the defence, this enabled the blacks’ midfield to move further up the pitch and put pressure on the in-form Kevo. Sure enough, out of the blue, a nice pass from a marauding Pete on the wing popped up for yours truly to volley past Kevo’s bad knee. Game on! Reds 5-3 Blacks. As the blacks surged forward the reds continued to hit them on the break, threatening to extend their lead. On a rare foray forward, Rick was picked out by Nigel on the edge of the box. As calm as you like, the 70s rocker sent Kevo the wrong way and stroked the ball into the bottom corner. Reds 5-4 Blacks.

With the last 5 minutes being a blur of end-to-end football, the reds managed to hang on for what was a thoroughly deserved win. Despite reports to the contrary, the game was played in a really great spirit and some nice football. Well played everyone. Farewell to Colin, and see you later this year buddy!