Benalmadena 23rd March

Slow Match report by Geoff

Two matches at the Polideportivo on Thursday with our visitors from Sussex playing a 9 aside match against the more mobile Benalmadena veterans.

As our ace wordsmith is still AWOL I am only able to give a brief resume on this match provided by Ken the Sussex organiser when having a beer on the bar balcony after their

6-0 thrashing by the local lads.

I put it Ken that perhaps this coming Monday they should play against our old farts in an endeavour to make it a more competitive match for them.

Not surprisingly he took umbrage at this suggestion saying the Sussex boys are out for revenge now that some of his team have experienced the rules of walking football for the first time. We will see!

I think perhaps it was the thought that the old farts may well have given them a similar thrashing that he declined such an offer!

REDS …..1 versus BLACKS …..0

The seven a side match involving the Benalmadena old farts on the opposite pitch was a really tight affair with both defences on top in the opening stages.

Despite some really excellent 3 touch football by both teams the first 30 minutes remained goalless, undoubtedly the  highlight being a terrific shot by Alan O from distance which hit the angled stanchion of the crossbar and somehow came back into the arms of Reds goalie the Milky Bar Kid who couldn’t believe his luck.

Shortly after this let off the Blacks were reduced to six players when Alan O went off with a leg injury.

After 45 minutes the Reds took the lead when goal scrounger Colin shot into an open net with rush goalie Klaus deciding to go on a walkabout around his goal area.

Shortly afterwards, Kevo accidentally stood on Colin’s toe and his dramatic roll in true Bambi style would have done the latter proud.

In Bambi’s absence the Crocodile from Dundee took over as match whinger for the day, albeit in a quieter and more refined manner.

For the Blacks new boy Alan W of pie eating origins had some difficulty in understanding the rules of walking football perhaps not so surprising as coming from Wigan. He was consistently penalised for running and tackling from the side and in a more competitive match he would have walked.

The Blacks were well led by Kevo and Paulo and did well to keep the Reds to just the one goal having a player short for half the match.

For the last session for whatever reason Breck moved Dave the Cab to the so called elite match and Keef to the old farts. Rumour has it that Mr Nobody was knackered and out of breath, no doubt because of all the fags he scrounges off others when having a beer.

Although not at her best, the energy shown by Audrey in midfield was impressive and she more than held her own against the opposite sex.

Afterwards players from both sides enjoyed refreshments and much banter on the bar balcony. Keef even finding some new mates albeit from Sussex who surprisingly enough had a copious supply of cigarettes. What a star!