Benalmadena 28th March

Match report by Rory

The aged soccerballers were pleased to have escaped the confines of the Secondary Modern Gym, and stretch their fragile sinews on the wide open savannah of the outdoor pitch. Two evenly matched teams enthusiastically pitched themselves into 20 minutes of dull passing exchanges with little or no penetration reminiscent of Lazio vs Sampdoria in 1979. With the return of master brummie tactician Terry to the reds, it was only a matter of time before they realised that the point of the game was to boot the ball into the netted box.

With Keef starting to take dodgy refereeing to new heights, the reds eventually began to dominate, much to the chagrin of Breck. The reds soon began to weave some nice moves together with Kevo, Dave, and Terry building some crisp passing patterns together down the left flank. New boy Ken made a fine debut ably supported by another left footer (no religious connotations) Jess, who made sure the reds maintained possession. Sure enough the Pep-inspired pass and movers broke through the blacks to build up an early lead thanks to deadly right winger Bambi who was neatly played into space by Keef to fire a low shot across the keeper and into the bottom corner. This was followed by another neat pattern of play by the cocky reds with new boy Ken feeding night-Owl Dave who once again showed how deadly he can be in front of goal.

Before you could say VAR, the reds were trailing 3-0 with the Owl bagging a fine brace and seemingly killing off any resistance from the blacks. With Martin sporting his standard Met Police Firearms team strip (Ed: wot, like in Line of Duty?) the reds defence was understandably standing off the Coventry front man. Having had a number of near misses (23 shots, 1 on target), the mobile target man finally found some space in front of goal to pull one back, despite a fine initial save from Colin. Reds 3-1 Blacks. With support from Dundee’s finest, Mike the blacks forward line was really starting to click. Manuel was starting to dominate the midfield, and was the focal point for many of the blacks’ attacks. He was well supported by Steve who took up some more forward positions and wasn’t afraid to fire off a long range shot or two. Olaf was having his usual powerful game and was well supported by the Fish on the right of defence. However, the reds cleverly overloaded the left flank to leave the defence outnumbered as Terry, Dave and Keef wove their pretty passing patterns around the blacks.
The game was looking in the balance before KDN conjured up the spirit of Ryan Giggs (FA Cup 1999 vs Arsenal) with a long mazy run down the left wing beating three players (or was it the same player 3 times?) before sending the ball like a knife through butter past Glyn in the blacks’ goal. The crowd went into hysterics! As the blacks pressed forward to try and salvage some pride from the game they understandably left themselves exposed at the back with Breck often finding himself outnumbered. KDN was finding more space up front with the reds starting to find him at will. Following a couple of close efforts the dynamic wing-man finally got his just deserts, when a defence splitting ball from Kevo put him through on goal. He didn’t need a second chance and picked his spot in the bottom corner. Reds 5-1 Blacks. However, the never-say-die blacks kept going, with Glyn providing some cool touches down the left flank. Manuel and Steve continued to drive the blacks forward, taking up more advanced positions, but a couple of long-range shots from Rory were well saved by the ever-agile Kevo in goal.

The blacks did get their just desserts when a smooth passing move found Manuel, the stealthy Thierry Henri on the edge of the box. The tall Gaul kept his cool as the reds’ defenders closed in and he calmly picked his spot. Final Score Reds 5-2. On balance the result seemed a tad harsh on the blacks, but KDN left an indelible legacy before his summer transfer to Portugal.

Shout out to Keef for ensuring the game was played sportingly and giving us all a laugh by blowing up Olaf for running.