Benalmadena 14th February

Match reports by Rory and Geoff

Faster Farts Game report by Rory

Good afternoon sports fans, you may have thought that modern day fitbah had witnessed the demise of the traditional front two, with the evolution of Pepe’s 11 midfielders approach to soccerball. But today we saw the welcome return of the “knock it up to the big man” approach, at the slightly faster game today at the Polideportivo. It was 8 blacks against 7 reds as once again, Keef had set up some well-balanced teams. With Steve Loasby providing some relaxed but firm management of the over enthusiastic “fast walkers”, a great game was on the cards.

The blacks looked confident with the knowledge that Gordon Banks avatar Keith, was ensconced between the sticks. The spine of the team looked strong, with Rob returning to walking football supported by Steve in midfield.

Eoghan (and his shiny boots) had a free role and linked midfield and attack. Meanwhile Milky Steve unfurled his usual repertoire of defence splitting balls. Upfront, bustling Jorge (USA! USA!) overcame his crushing disappointment at his team choking the Superbowl and turned in his usual quality forward play, knocking over a few defenders and creating some great chances for the blacks. Dave the Owl was his dangerous predatory self, silkily gliding through the lines and proving dangerous throughout.

For the reds, Big Al continued to forge a great striking partnership with Olaf, fast becoming the Jurgen Klinsmann of Walking Football. With Kevo as rush goalie the reds were confident they weren’t going to concede. New boy  Laurie made a confident debut, starting on the left, but providing some nice touches through the red’s midfield. And Dazza…..was Dazza, bringing energy, some great tackles and frequently popping up all over the pitch. Meanwhile, KDN put in another reliable shift down the left, providing a good outlet for the reds when under pressure. Johan, orchestrated the reds at the back, providing some great surging runs through the middle and setting some of the best reds’ attacks.

The blacks got off to a great start and penned the reds back in their own half for the first quarter of the game. Rob and Steve were combining well in midfield, and Steve the Chef upfront always looked dangerous for the blacks. With Jorge and Dave the Owl providing penetration through the middle, Kevo was called upon to make a few timely saves. Johan was having a blinder at the back for the reds and was able to take advantage of Dazza and Olaf’s combination play down the right wing. The reds were playing increasingly effectively on the break with Big Al holding the ball up well for the advancing attackers. The almost telepathic understanding between Olaf and Big Al eventually paid off when the two combined brilliantly down the right flank. Olaf delivered a perfect pass into Big Al’s path and the striker didn’t hesitate to fire the ball into the corner of the goal. 1-0 to the reds.

Although initially stunned by this reversal, the blacks kept up the pressure with Jorge continuing to find space upfront with Steve the Chef spurning a chance in front of the goal with only Kevo to beat. The reds were working overtime to keep the blacks at bay, but once again they were able to boot it up to Big Al who was able knock it off to Laurie who picked his spot and calmly doubled the reds’ lead. The blacks continued to dominate possession and peppered the reds’ goal with shots, with both Steve and Dave going close but not close enough to trouble glove man KDN. The reds responded by binning the complex pass and move geometric patterns and deciding to just welly it up the pitch for Big Al to cause havoc in the blacks’ defence where Eoghan made sure that his boot maker’s logo was nicely tattooed onto the back of Big Al’s standing leg.

The reds’ route 1 tactics eventually paid off when Big Al drifted into space in the inside left position, held up the ball nicely and fed the ball through for the advancing Olaf to fire it into the bottom corner. Hardly a fair score on the balance of play, but the reds’ dynamic duo were not to be denied. The blacks were finally killed off when Johan started another good move from the back involving Laurie, Dazza and Olaf in a slick passing move which culminated in Big Al pirouetting in front of goal and smashing it past the keeper for a well-deserved brace. Harsh on the blacks but a great end to the game which was again brilliantly controlled by Steve Loasby.

Well played everyone. Final Score Reds 4-0 Blacks.

Slower Farts Game report by Geoff

Cherries 0  Blues 2

Yet another excellent turnout at the Polideportivo with a welcome visit on Saint Valentines Day from our  old friend Jim King aka ‘Elbows’ who showed no sign of losing that nickname whilst playing for the Cherries. I believe there may well be some truth in the non show of Bambi was as a result of knowing he would more than have met his match playing for the Blues against youngster Jim. Unfortunately JK cannot play Thursday as he will be back in Norway so for the moment Bambi can relax until his return.

Having been dispatched to the far pitch by Keef thereby facing the worse of the wind on a sunny morning which got stronger as the game went on, the old farts especially the newcomers made up for any lack of skills with an abundance of enthusiasm and thoroughly enjoyed the workout, albeit at a lesser pace than on the other game.

There was no score for some 25 minutes until Sonic Geoff 🦔  having a short spell in goal made a somewhat sloppy throw straight to the feet of goal hanger Mike🐊 , one nil to the Blues.

After another lengthy spell of no goals despite both sides having chances to score Mick🍒 yet another goal hanger put the Blues two up following another poor defensive error. For the Blues old stager ‘Fish’ was his normal solid self in defence ably assisted by two other new boys Alan and Laurie 🚛 in goal.

Martyn despite all his valiant efforts to resuscitate the Cherries attack just couldn’t put the ball in the back of the Blues net, who along with Peter Mowatt  in defence another recent newcomer were the pick of the🍒.

After the match on the balcony Eve and Eleanor were each presented with a large box of chocolates by the Commander for Saint Valentines  Day in appreciation from the lads for all their efforts every week.

This was soon reciprocated by Eve with a plentiful spread of bread and manchego cheese with fries which JK atemore than his share, obviously  not being use to such hospitality at Calahonda! This just goes to prove that the Commander and Keef are no fools!

Finally, it is worthy of note that Breck recovering from bruised ribs courtesy of Bambi the other week was an able referee, much better than someone who I will politely not mention, albeit on occasions he couldn’t blow the whistle due to his injuries, perhaps in the circumstances it was just as well the little git didn’t show up!