Time until the next game at Benalmadena Polideportivo

Match Report by Steve C

Welcome one and all to this week’s report for the Monday Benalmadena Frog game. Another glorious day in paradise with the Yellow team beating the Orange team 9-4.

My notes say the goals were scored by Kevo with 1, Martin 2, Kevo (again?) 1, Frank 3, Mick 3 and Darren 1. This was after much deliberation and argument but Terry interrupted proceedings with another 6 jugs, so discussion moved onto more important questions such as, “Hey, Kevo, where are the pies?” and “Will there be any pies at the Christmas party?” and “Why is it called walking football?” while everyone turns to look at Keith, Frank and Darren. That being said, there were some great goals, some average goals and some soft goals and many more near-misses… probably.

Before the match, Keith gave a rousing speech about the rules of walking football, presumably for the benefit of the newer players. However, none of the regulars gave a blind bit of notice once the game started, Keith included! To be fair, there was also a decent amount of non-walking from Darren, Pete D, Frank, Mark, Breck, Jon, Mick, Steve, Bambi, Bob, Kevo, Alvin, KDN, Fish, Mike, Commander and Martin. I deliberately left out Terry as he’s carrying an injury and everyone agreed we’ve seen parked cars with more mobility.

Notable highlights include Keith’s refereeing skills being put to the test by Pete D hitting a 30 yard looper against the crossbar WITH NO WHISTLE!. Then we saw Commander get his legs in a knot, almost causing a tumble. A couple of players instinctively went to catch him but they quickly realised trying to catch 200 kg of dead weight wasn’t the best course action so they let nature run it’s course. Luckily the Commander was able to stay on his feet without intervention and everyone sighed with relief, especially this reporter (just after my life flashed before my eyes).

Next we saw Keith and Darren chasing after a 50-50 ball while trying not to run, accompanied by a chorus of the Benny hill theme tune from both teams. Darren won the race and was promptly whistled down for running. You didn’t need to be clairvoyant to see that coming.

That’s all for now except for those of you still wondering what’s the meaning of F.r.o.g.? “For really old guys” 😉

Over and out!

Warm up