Match Reports 1 and 2 by Ref extraordinaire and star keyboardist Sean
Match Report and emotional abuse for game #1 and some for game #2. 19/10/2026 UL and 10/19/2026 for our yankee brethren:
The French are rioting and storming the Bastille again. France is burning baby!Macron is over shaking hands with Sheiks and telling everyone back home, everything’s fine.I always thought rioting was the modos operandi of English football fans and my country men up north. But turns out the French are pretty adept at the rioting too.
In the midst of all this carnage a group of fine, once young men assembled at the Polideportivo Benalmadena to rekindle their glory days!
The sides were a little unbalanced due to one Dave Fox being struck down that same morning by a bad dose of, the Irish flu. A common ailment the tends to afflict unsuspecting victims on Monday mornings. Dispite their consuming large amounts of alcohol the night before in an attempt to ward off the evil spirts.
But I digress, back to football. Reds dispite being without recognizable leadership, oh I forgot! Reds lead by Trumps man in Benalmadena, Terry in the middle weaving his magic Were running or should I saying walking a muck!
The big man Graham bagged the 1st two goals of his hat trick before anyone realized he was on the pitch. How anyone could miss him is a mystery. With South Dublins menace , Daz in the Reds goal nothing got passed his tiny out stretched legs. Another goal from this match reporter put the score at 3-0 Reds.
At the start the 2nd quarter /period of however many quarters we were about to play. In the 2nd quarter Mark, the super coach, still faking injury, in search of glory with the duffers of game #1. Smacked a shot from distance that not even the South Dublins menace could get a limb in front off to stop.
3-1 Reds.
In the 2nd or 3rd quarter/period , for any yanks interested. Mark, super coach, injury ridden as he was, took over rush keeper duties for blacks His thinking obviously was, “I can do better a job as rush keep that , our Keef.Who had thus far only let in 3 or was it 4.
During a Red attack on goal Mark decided as rush keeper he could handle the ball anywhere he pleased. This did displease Reds even with “Our Keef” in a Black shirt, referring at the time. Penalty to Reds to which up stepped the Welsh Wizard, who dispatched said penalty into the corner 4-1 Reds.
I would like to add that another Reds goal was disallowed. Due to the honesty of this match reporter admitting he may have moved to the ball at a slightly faster than walking pace. What’s happening to me in my old age getting so honest.
Where was I? Oh yes back to the game. In the 4 th quarter / period Reds were holding fast. The world’s greatest, gooner Fred had donned the goalie gloves. Nothing gets past this man, not even flies were permitted past him. Assisted or obstructed by Daz, your truely and the peno taking, Welsh Wizard in defense.
It was in the final quarter or maybe the 5 or 6 periods when Black sprung to life. Our Keef gave them a strong talking too at the hydration break and they came out firing on all 10 legs. Our Keef and center forward come rush keeper, Coach Mark, began to put the squeeze on Reds. Fish minus his pork pie hat, with webmaster Brian. Who’s supposedly a drummer extraordinaire and was doing double duty as weeper in the absence of their injury plagued, rush keeper.
Within a short interval Blacks had clawed back 3 goals. 5-3 Reds. Our Keef may have been involved in a goal.
Then to all assembled astonishment the “Bambster” decided to come out of hiding, behind the Reds defense, to scored two cracking goals. His Tipperary mother would be proud of. South Dublins menace ,Daz, released from the asylum and goalkeeper duties, shuffled his short legs forward to score, I mean toe poke two goals
The final score was 6-5 Reds. Dispite, Our referee Keefs, adding an additional few minutes as his side searched for an equalizer!
Meanwhile in game #2 the score ended 3-1 Reds. With goal from Majid, Irans finest walking football referee while Jon the fireman is referring, Jim not wearing is trademark Capri pants got an goal and Hooverboard Kevo who was plucked from game #1 to the premier division. John of the hat fame scored for Blacks.
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his reported noted the numbers this week were lower Monday than in the past few weeks. Notably missing was one , Mark Flately McGruffery, who was last spotted on the dance floor in a Fuengirola Bull ring established late Saturday night. Before flying for an audition for the new Hudson River Dance show in New York City.
Also spotted at this dance extravaganza was a keyboard playing clone of this match reporter. I hereby deny any involvement in the providing of any musical backing in the dance recital that occurred Saturday night.
As always although we tried no animals we mistreated or accosted during the making of these game. Until Thursday. As I will be traveling this weekend I will probably give you all a well deserved break from my match report over the weekend. For those of you I didn’t get around insulting or abusing this week. I will try to rectify that situation next time. Over and over!