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Match report, game number 1, by ref extraordinaire, Sean.
Game #1 Match report for Thursday September 17th 2026:
Dispite all the controversy throughout the world. Macklemore being sin binned by Ed Sheeran’s tour in the US. Like referee, Fireman John, banishing Tommy or Daz to the sin bin on any given Monday or Thursday. Donal Trump arriving in Ireland for a golf tournament and managing to piss off both sides of the United Ireland, shall we say” debate”. A day before, Wednesday last a 7 hour beach day. That would have fried to a crisp the majority of the populations of England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales. Granted there were no representatives of The Highlands or the Welsh Valleys present on the beach day. That I am aware off. A motley crew of ageless football enthusiasts appeared. It was another sunny mid 30’s Thursday morning.
The game kicked off with the Reds dominating position lead by Hooverboard man Kevo at the back assisted by Big man Graham. It wasn’t long before the young 82 year old, striker sensation Ken, latched onto a pass and toe poked the ball passed a floundering Welsh Steve in goal. 1-0 Reds. Blacks lead by Dave the Owl’s trickery and the Scottish work ethic of Joe in the middle tried to rally the Blacks but chances were squander by their struggling forward line of the ever vocal, Mr positive reinforcement, Bambi and the capable Mike up front.
For Reds the Danish Pele, Soren, was busy linking up play in the middle. In the 2nd quarter his through ball, for some unexplained reason, was slotted home by Sean who had wonder aimlessly near the Black goal area. 2-0 Black.
It was shortly after that another pass to Ken found him struggling to continue playing. The game was hauled while Ken received assistance. Kevo blow for a water break. A chair was procured from the patio and Ken was seated until he was feeling better and his wife was summoned. He was put in a wheel chair was care for by Franks and the ball boys until Ann arrived. I am glad to say, by the time he was put into Ann’s car he was feeling better and was able to get from the wheel chair to the car with minimal assistance.
When the game resumed new boy Ronnie, Benalmadena’s Archie Gimmel, final found his shoot boots and bagged 2 goals in quick succession with assists from Soren and someone who shall remain nameless.
It was 4-0 Black in the 3rd period when Joe pressed forward and a grass cutter of a shot finally beat Kevo’s outstretched leg in the Reds goal. 4-1 Reds.
Not being a match report that lets the facts get in the way of making up a story. Black next goal was scored possibly by Dave the Owl, as he juked left then right then left again, before slashing the ball into the Reds net . 4-2 Reds.
But Reds weren’t ready to allow Blacks back into this one, unlike Man Utd v Brighton the night before. With Pete Fish streeking down the right wing for Reds his cross was dispatched into the Blacks goal by Soren or Ronnie. Neither stuck around after so this match report could confirm, to whom to attribute the goal. 5-1 Reds!
In the final quarters of 5 quarters. Bambi finally got involved in the action and had a shot on goal saved by the Reds keeper. In the ensuing Reds attack a ball was crossed into the middle and Big man Graham having ventured forward, whipped the ball high into the corner of the Black goal. 6-2 Reds. With the other games coming to an end. Game 1 went into extra time due to the stoppage for Ken’s welfare. But at this point proceedings were well and truely decided. At the final whistle the score was 6-2 Reds. The game was played in a sportsman like manner with very few frees after new Boy Ronnie got to gripes with the, no running or tackling rules. Well done all involved!
Match 2 Report by Colin
When the teams were announced I thought well this should be a convincing win for reds, I’m glad I don’t have to try and mark Fez and Darren who were teamed together for once.
It was then a bit of a shock when blacks raced into a 3-0 lead in no time at all.
Colin and Alan were all over the place trying to defend the pacy Micky who bagged a brace, Lawrence who scored the second and Mark G who just calmly strode forward with the ball or received it with his back to goal and fed the channels
Daz in reds goal got back ache picking the ball out of the net and we were glad to hear the whistle to end the 1st quarter
As the second quarter resumed the game settled down with reds actually seeing some of the ball with Darren, Fez and Kev leading the attack whilst Garry gently nursed his crocked ankle in midfield.
Blacks meanwhile were protecting Keith in goal with a solid defensive performance by Stan with Paul and Dave B patrolling the wings whilst Mark, Micky and Lawrence ran reds defence ragged, but reds grabbed a lifeline when Fez scored 3-1 blacks
3rd quarter and Garry scored a second for reds 3-2 Blacks
4th quarter and Garry popped up with another goal and its all square
5th quarter ?🤔 and the unlikely happened, reds took the lead, Darren I think, following a bad pass out by blacks keeper Dave 🐝 4-3 reds not long to go
As the last attack was monitered by Dave 🦊 with whistle approaching his lips, Mark G hit the ball true and hard, Daz parried the ball up, down it came with snow on it, Daz with no idea as to its location was helpless as it bounced down and ricocheted of his leg into the goal. Final whistle! 4-4
After the 3-0 lead, blacks were wondering how they only just managed a draw
A good game well reffed with no grumbles