Report by Rory
Farewell to KDN, cornerstone of WFS and mercurial left footed wing-man. It was mixed feelings for the aged ball bashers where every second touch is a tackle or an attempt at landing Spain’s first football on the moon. What they lack in ball skills, the late challengers make up for in enthusiasm and a relentless desire to win. As always, the admirable Keef put together four teams to battle it out for nothing more than being able to say they’d won.
Kudos to Steve Loasby and Ian Flynn for refereeing, and ensuring both games were played in the “spirit of the game”. Your muddle headed correspondent was in the Team Rory (reds) vs Team Big Al (black) game on the far pitch.
SFA hardman referee Ian (He’s officiated at 6 Old Firm games) ensured the boys were absolutely clear about the rules which allowed for some free-flowing passing geometrics but didn’t get the ball very far up the pitch.
Paolo, the Italian goalkeeping legend took the gloves for the reds, immediately presenting a challenge to the blacks’ goal-poacher supreme, Max, to find the target. The blacks were led impressively by big Al, who seems to have more arms and legs than everyone else. He was superbly supported by dynamic running Swede Johan (why hit a short pass when you can ping it 35 yards up the pitch). The reds looked solid with a strong defensive pairing of Peter and Peter ably marshalled by the Gary who played sweeper. With Gianluigi Buffon between the sticks the reds certainly looked difficult to break down. The reds ambitiously started with two wing-men Ken and Alan, stretching the blacks’ defence.
The blacks played with big Al supporting the tricky Max up front. With Boris and Alan both having probably their best games of the season so far, and goalkeeping wunderkind Breck in goal, the blacks just had the edge. The reds had the best of the early exchanges with Stephen and Steve forming a strong partnership in midfield. Unfortunately for the reds, they didn’t have an out-and-out striker and had to rely on some wayward long-range shots, which were like Bryson De Chambeau on steroids.
With Dazza playing so brilliantly that some were suspicious he’d been kidnapped by Aliens and replaced by a doppelganger from planet football, the reds found their defence increasingly under pressure. Sure enough, Dazza’s surging runs down the right wing and big Al’s dogged persistence sprung the trap and released the predatory Dane to beat the formerly unbeatable Paolo in the top corner.
Urged on by Gary from the back, the reds pressed forward more in hope than expectation as they lacked a deadly sharpshooter up front. Despite some nice interchanges between Stephen and Ken the reds couldn’t break through the solid defensive pairing of Boris and Alan, well supported by Breck when he took a spell out of goal. Just when the match looked evenly poised, tragedy struck when a miss-placed roll out from Paolo was nimbly intercepted by the deadly Max. The Scandinavian sharp-shooter strolled in on the goal and calmly placed the ball in the bottom corner. The reds were a busted flush.
The blacks continued to surge forward in an attempt to bury the game in 5 tons of concrete. However, they hadn’t banked on the giant Italian in the reds’ goal who pulled off a string of fine saves to redeem his earlier error and keep the reds in the game. Sure enough, Stephen’s constant probing released Ken in a dangerous position in front of goal for the reds. The wily wing-man who’s left foot had been surgically replaced by a wand, jinked his way into some space before magically slotting the ball into the bottom corner.
The reds had pulled one back, but in the final minutes weren’t able to achieve much more than preventing Max from securing a deserved hat-trick. But thank goodness he didn’t, as we couldn’t afford to give away the match ball. Everyone agreed it was a great game, made even better by Ian’s authoritative refereeing.
After the game the lads went to the bar to murder some well-known songs on the Karaoke machine. Thanks again to KDN for a brilliant speech and making a massive contribution to the food etc. to ensure we all had a fantastic afternoon / evening. There were also some lovely warm words from the Commander, before kneeing KDN in the groin and holding him in custody without charge for 24 hours.
Immanuel Kant