13th June

Match 1 report by Rory

As the big cup starts to get into full swing and the Scots embrace another early exit from a major tournament, the strolling toe-pokers settled down to two games in the searing heat of the Poli. In the game where guys want to run but claim under oath that they weren’t running, our Keef had picked a couple of good footballing five-a-side teams.

Wee Eddie was making a welcome return the stadium of too much light, adding his silky skills to the other ball juggling talent in the red shirts. (Running, not walking) Dave was not going to take any prisoners with Steve in midfield and El Buho playing as a false number nine. Total football Han completed what looked like a pretty impressive bunch of ball players.

The opposition were let by Dodri at the back, with a solid midfield of John and T800 Kaj. Rory was floating between defence and midfield, and Dave pulled out his best Ivan Toni impersonation to lead the line for another impressive combo of bladder bashers. Both teams started out playing some nice football, conjuring up images of the fluidity of Doncaster Rovers’ 5^th team. The T800, as well as being designed to travel back through time to destroy the rebellion before it even started, also makes a pretty good goalkeeper. But to everyone’s surprise, a circuitry malfunction caused Kaj to roll to ball out in front of goal with the result that the inevitable happened. The opposition jumped on the ball, fed it through to wee Eddie, and the willey wing wizard calmly slotted it through the Kaj’s legs. Reds 1-0 Blacks.

The blacks quickly settled down into a nice pattern of play and created a few half chances for Dave. However, despite a couple of great efforts, the front man couldn’t get the ball past Steve in the reds goal. Honours were generally even in the outfield play, with both teams knocking it to feet. Goals were hard to come by though, thanks to some uncompromisingly good defending by Dodri for the blacks and Dave the cab for the reds. Just when another goal was getting to look increasingly unlikely, Steve found wee Eddie on the break. He ran in on goal and side footed it brilliantly past the keeper into the bottom corner. Reds 2-0 Blacks.

The reds started to dominate the play with Han and Steve knocking the ball about in midfield. They created a number of great chances and really should have extended their lead but for a string of great saves by Rory in the blacks’ goal. The best move of the match ended with El Buho bearing down on goal at the back post, only to see his brilliantly struck volley being touched round the post by a shocked Rory in goal. Out of the blue, the blacks suddenly found themselves back in the game when John, who up to that point had had 23 shots and none on target, finally struck a sweet one into the bottom corner to give the blacks the goal their efforts deserved. Game on! Reds 2-1 Blacks. As the blacks surged forward for the equaliser Dave the Bee moved into goal. With a minute on the clock he made the classic walking football goalkeeping error and rolled the ball out into the middle of the pitch, enabling the reds to regain possession and score their third, thanks to some nice play and a tidy finish from Dave the cab to seal the game. Reds 3-0 Blacks.

With some tasty challenges entering what had generally been a very good-natured game, yours truly signalled a premature end to the game so that the boys could stay mates and enjoy a few beers. Let’s be honest, it was a great game of footie.

Match 2 report by Geoff

REDS ….4 versus BLACKS ….2

Slightly less numbers at the Polideportivo on Thursday, thereby enabling Keef to play two five aside matches.

In view of this and the hot weather, Keef decided to shorten the length of the old farts pitch to that somewhat similar in size of the one used at the Retamar during July and August.

Once again, the seemingly popular decision of unlimited touches was played, along with rush goalies and because of the heat, water breaks ever ten minutes or so.

This format, undoubtedly suited old stager Ken, who scored all four of the Reds goals, two of them absolute crackers.

Ken scored the only goal of the first session, blasting the ball past the Leicester Fox in goal for the Blacks.

1-0 to Reds

Early in the second session Klaus hit a ferocious toe poker past ‘H’ in the Reds goal, the latter only seeing the ball after it landed in the back of his net, this due to being blindsided by the Crafty Fox who obscured his view, allegedly not deliberate!

1-1.

Ken then scored his second following a sublime passing sequence for the Reds, from defence into attack, in particular made easier by an exquisite final pass to the scorer by ‘Fish’.

2-1 to Reds.

Early in the third session, Ken scored his inevitable hat trick, not surprisingly taking to the shorter pitch and five a side format like a duck to water.

3-1 to Reds.

The Fox, now playing in attack having had enough of playing between the sticks, then scuffed a shot to score a lucky goal for the Blacks.

3-2 to Reds.

In the last session, man of the match and octogenarian Ken put the result beyond doubt, this following another astute defence splitting pass from Reds defender ‘Fish’

4-2.to Reds.

Modesty, prevents your match reporter from mentioning the four excellent saves he made during the match!

The best of which was one off the Leicester Fox, hit from point blanc range, which almost dislocated his wrist when punching it clear.

The Fox, was adamant the Blacks  would have won the match had it not been for those saves.

Such comments was music to the ears of the avid Leeds United fan in the Reds goal.

Boris as ever was his normal solid self in defence for the Blacks, as was Fred for the Reds using his bulky physique to good effect, blocking numerous goal bound shots.

Not bad for two 78 year olds who are still going strong and enjoying playing, even if at a slower level.

In conclusion, it was good to see Keef, the ‘young’ 70 year old whilst playing for the Reds, nevertheless, encouraging and cajoling all of the old fart players, from both teams.

To this end, it would be nice to see others from the so called elite squad doing the same in the future.