20th May

Match report 1 by Rory

The organisers of walking football are noted for bringing innovative ideas to the game, and it was with this in mind, they set up a game of reds against blacks with the subtext being to build the biggest score in walking football since its inception in c1432. The reds looked a strong outfit led by Kevo and his miraculously improving right knee thanks to the discrete use of a hoverboard to get about the pitch without being picked up for running. Stephen had curtailed his urge to establish a debate early on and concentrated on passing and moving within his bariatric chamber, given his newly heightened fear of catching a bad cold. Alex was outstanding as usual, taking a leaf out of the absent Kai’s book (remember he who had been sent back from the future by Skynet to destroy mankind?). Alex’s legs and feet have an uncanny knack for getting in the way of passes by the opposition, making him a highly frustrating player to come up against.

Silky right fullback Boris took up his usual position at erm……right fullback. Robust Johnny Giles midfielder Sean started in a more forward role just behind Alex with big Sergei in a holding role. The blacks were naively optimistic with (running not walking) Dave starting at the back alongside an increasingly confident Klaus. Doug went between the sticks to rest his multiple injuries, and Rory slotted into midfield. Dave (el Buho) took up a more advanced role, knowing that his deadly accuracy in passing and shooting was the blacks’ best chance of stealing a goal or two. Olaf started at right midfield, giving the blacks a nice attacking edge.

The first two sessions witnessed a record number of passes with neither side making much progress towards the opposition goal. Doug did manage to pull of a couple of early saves to thwart what looked like certain goals for the reds. Meanwhile the blacks eventually managed to fire off a couple of long-range efforts which didn’t trouble the keeper but kept ball boy Frank on the move. The blacks were mistakenly encouraged by their first half performance, but their hopes were soon dashed when Alex showed his ability with the high press, intercepting a couple of misdirected roll-outs from Doug. Before they could say “things can only get better”, the blacks were three goals down and looking at a mountain to climb. Reds 3-0 Blacks

Dave and El Buho were playing blinders and giving the blacks the odd sniff of goal. But with Boris defending stoutly and laying the ball of brilliantly, the blacks rarely threatened the reds’ goal, particularly with Sergei and Kevo providing an unbreachable defensive wall. The reds soon moved into a comfortable 5-0 lead with Alex scoring his second hat-trick within a week and Stephen managing to bag one following some great buildup play. As the reds started to relax the blacks saw an opportunity to salvage some dignity from what was looking like a right good kicking. El Buho was ever mobile and picked Rory out with a beautiful through ball enabling him to pull one back for the plucky blacks. The reds were disturbed from their slumber and decided to bury the blacks, thereby quelling any faint hopes of a comeback. Kevo and Sean helped themselves to a couple of goals and Alex weighed in with another to leave the blacks on the floor and a mere seven goals down. Reds 8-1 Blacks.

Miraculously the blacks kept going rather like Tyson Fury, when it would have been easier to fall to the canvas and not get up. To their credit, they managed to pull a few goals back thanks to assists from El Buho who was playing a blinder. And although he couldn’t get on the scoresheet himself, he set a new WFS record for assists in one game, creating all of the blacks goals. With goals from Dave and Rory the blacks clawed their way back to a meagre 5 goal deficit. Reds 8-3 Blacks. However, the reds administered another couple of punches to the solar plexus and restored their 8-goal lead. Don’t ask me who scored them as by that time my abacus had broken down.

Fair play to the blacks who kept going to the bitter end and managed to bag a couple of extra goals. The first was a penalty after Sean had wandered into his own box and was neatly stuck  away by Rory as Boris dived for cover. The second from Dave saw him slotting the ball in from the narrowest of angles after a rare mistake from Boris who neatly passed it straight to him. Final Score Reds 11-5 Blacks.

Brilliantly played by the reds who made the most of their advantage and scored some great goals.

Match report 2 by Geoff

Yet another excellent turn out at the Polideportivo on Monday with two 6 aside matches taking place.

In the absence of John aka Fireman Sam, it was agreed both matches would have no referees and everyone would hopefully play within the spirit of the game.

Your reporter undertook to watch the game nearest the bar area, both teams playing rush keepers which included serial runners off the ball in Keef and Pete the Pirate for the Reds, not forgetting Jonny Blue Sox for the Blacks.

Hungarian Jonny given this new nickname after turning up looking like Nora Batty, wearing bright blue knee length socks, no doubt getting out of bed and dressing in the dark!

Two evenly matched teams played out a goalless first half, which on occasions included some excellent three touch football.

The highlight during this season, which seemed to amuse everyone was a wayward shot from Ian on the Blacks goal, the ball heading directly towards the head of your truly standing near the goal.

Thankfully, anticipating this and taking evasive action the ball hitting his back of rather than his head.

Just the one no show, this saw the injured Dave  the Fox stepping up to play as a third choice keeper for the Blacks.

Nil apiece at first water break, however it was a short session, which for some reason was called by Fred after less than 10 minutes play, already gasping for breath in the late morning heat.

Keef, now in goal for the Reds made several excellent saves, although he was grateful that  a blaster from the Brentford Bee went narrowly wide.

This was followed by the Pirate from Penzance stepping into his own goal area.

Keef, the unofficial referee reluctantly awarded  a penalty against his fellow teammate.

Laurence, scorer of 4 goals in his last match  confidently stepped forward to take the penalty for the Blacks.

Surprisingly, his mishit shot went straight at Keef in goal, who saved with ease.

Just before the next water break, not called by Fred on this occasion, following a flowing passing sequence, the Reds took the lead through goal scrounger Ken.

1-0 to Reds at break.

The third session began with Laurence (Black’s) making up for his earlier penalty miss made an exquisite pass to Welsh Steve to level the score.

1-1.

The Blacks then scored two quick goals, with one from Laurence and then a fine volley from Alan.

The latter, no doubt trying to make a late claim for a place in Farke’s Wembley team on Sunday. No chance!

3-1 to Blacks.

Ken, for the Reds despite his advancing years then showed he wasn’t going to go down without a fight, taking Jonny Blue Sox out with a strong shoulder charge.

Keef, reluctantly penalised  his teammate for this foul.

With his hackles now raised, Ken then made a superb interception on the halfway line, his long range shot narrowly missing the goal with Foxy Dave well beaten.

Almost immediately, Ken followed this with another low shot, yet again from distance, which unfortunately came back off the post to safety, much to the relief of the Fox in goal.

Dave Bee, obviously inspired by the old stager then reduced the deficit for the Reds just before the last water break.

3-2 to Blacks.

In the last session, despite everything the Reds threw at Foxy Dave in the Black’s  goal, despite his leg injury, he was more than up to the task of denying them the equaliser.

In conclusion, an entertaining game, with Keef as one would expect allowing the game to flow, albeit making some dubious decisions, between walking and running, especially off the ball.

FT: Black’s 3 Reds 2.