Time until the next game at Benalmadena Polideportivo

Slow Farts Report by Rory (et Al)

Slow Farts Assemble!

As expected, many in the slow farts game had had a slow pre-season and there was much concern about hamstring twang, knee knack and achilles ouch during the warmup. The reds had a stylish attacking look to their team, with the mercurial Bambi leading the line supported by Jess with his magic wand of a left peg down the left flank. One-touch lay off Terry orchestrated the midfield after a spell in goal with “they shall not pass” hard man Hans shoring up the defensive line. Welsh Steve put in his usual box-to-box performance in the engine room and Boris was hoping to get through the game without needing to use 1 of his legs.

The blacks had the ever-dependable Fish in goal behind the tough tackling Pete. The two Daves provided a dynamic midfield with Graham playing in the hole behind Stoke City’s finest – our Ken. Although the teams were evenly matched, it’s goals that win games folks, and with goal-hanging Ken lurking just outside (or sometimes inside) the opposition box I know who my money was on. The normally reliable Bambi’s NATO approved navigation system had malfunctioned in the extreme heat resulting in a record number of 85 shots missing the target, much to the dismay of the reds.

The skilful play and subtle touches by Dave the cab eventually prised open the reds defence allowing Ken to show his class and bag a well-deserved hat-trick for the blacks. The reds responded with some neat play involving Boris and Jess down the left and opportunities were presented for both Hans and Bambi to score. Unfortunately, the profligate front men didn’t trouble the reds’ keeper. With Bambi’s range-finding system finally being rewired, the wiry wonder wing-wizard finally converted one of his many chances to give an air of respectability to the score. Dave the bee was being his usual busy self but rarely found the space to unleash one of his arm-breaking thunderbolts on goal. However, just when they thought they were getting back in the game, Dave the cab got the goal his skilful play deserved, calmly beating the keeper from 8 yards. Despite the best efforts of the reds to score another, they couldn’t get one past the leaping Fish in goal whose, amphibian exploits kept the blacks firmly in front.

What a great game with the Blacks winning 4-1, although the score was a tad harsh on the hardworking reds. Well played everyone and take good care of those aching joints.