Time until the next game at Benalmadena Polideportivo

 Report by Rory

The controversial Bibsgate investigation has been completed with chief investigator Rory determining that he hadn’t made a complete cock-up of looking after the bibs on Monday. In a brief interview with this media outlet he went on to say: “now just go and DO ONE you lot!”

Meanwhile, back on the luxuriant plastic green pastures of the polideportivo, two evenly matched teams squared up to provide a feast of football for the nearby watching pigeons. The blacks had a powerful line up with Colin enthusiastically leading the line with back up from Kai (53 shots 1.5 on target). Zidane impersonator Manuel provided some lovely passing and movement in midfield ably supported by Dave and Stuart prompting some nice forward moves. Simon was in the hole behind Colin and the fish ploughed his usual furrow down the right flank. Meanwhile, jubilant Hungarian Johnny was given a free role so he was at liberty to regale his former English friends with tales of two great victories over the inept 3 Lions (football isn’t coming home….again)

The reds were bristling with attacking talent and set out to score as many goals as possible. And sure enough, after some tentative early exchanges, dominant midfield maestro Hamid picked out flying Swede Johan who strolled through the defence before slotting it into the bottom corner. Reds 1-0 Blacks. If anything, the blacks were more dominant in the first 15 but were unable to fashion any clear cut chances, and when they did, the reds’ rotating goalkeepers did a great job. With Alan, Brian  H and Paolo keeping things tight at the back, this provided the springboard for Mark and Hamid to press further forward in support of Johan and Stanley Matthew’s anecdote specialist Ken, to stretch the blacks’ defence as they pressed for an equaliser. The reds worked the ball beautifully down the left before Alan pulled a great ball back for Rory to curl into the net with a low curling drive. Reds 2-0 Blacks.

Breck was starting to unveil his penchant for long-range passing, frequently picking out hardworking frontman Colin and bustling shot-taker Kai. As gliding Manuel pushed ever forward for the blacks the reds backline stood firm, with Paolo pulling out a number of solid tackles to thwart their advances. What followed next was particularly cruel as the reds’ intricate passing and moving sliced open the blacks in quick succession finding thunderbolt hitting Hamid who grabbed a rapid fire brace of goals. Reds 4-0 Blacks. Mark switched to the blacks in an attempt to shore up their midfield. Sure enough the blacks swarmed around the reds’ goal in an attempt to get something out of the game. Finally their persistence paid off with Johnny and Colin pulling the reds apart and creating a rare opening for Kai to hammer the ball home. Reds 4-1 Blacks.

With the Commander rallying the reds there was no way they were going to let the blacks back into the game. Sure enough Johan combined well with Hamid (again) who used his satnav watch to plot the path of the ball through the massed defenders to the waiting Rory. The vindicated bib-loser spun on a 10 cent (sixpence for people from the UK) and slotted the ball into the bottom corner. Reds 5-1 Blacks. The blacks’ humiliation was complete when Alan bundled his way through the blacks defence before sending a brilliant strike past the stunned goalkeeper. In fact, everyone was stunned as Alan usually sends his shots into the Earth’s outer atmosphere where a number of WFS footballs are currently in low orbit. A fantastic end to a good game. Thanks to Breck for taking on the role of the person who gets abused (referee).

At the final whistle the teams went to the bar to say farewell to Hamid who has secured a loan move to Atlanta Utd in the MLS. Here’s hoping we see him again in September. Hasta Luego Hamid.