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Match report by Steve McHugh

Another beautiful day at the Retamar with a fresh breeze keeping the temperature down to a pleasant Gas Mark 3. Simon wasn’t playing so we switched to playing in the orange and yellow bibs instead of the burnt siena and tuscan sun tabards.

Even with some late drop outs and additions the game was played between two well-matched 8-a-side teams, even though the final score was 7-2 to the yellows.

On that note, Pete D was seen on Sunday night washing down the biggest plate of ribs this side of the Atlantic with copious amounts of beer, supposedly a wonder cure for his injured ankle. We can report a lesson learned for you youngsters out there; no, it isn’t!

Kevo, the day’s designated ball-boy, provided much support and encouragement from the sidelines, although “encouragement” might be stretching it. Bland indifference might be a better description. The local boot camp ladies were out in full force and his attention seemed to wander.

Kevin made a welcome return. Milky Bar Steve now has competition for the whitest legs in the whole of Spain. Kevin’s deft touch and football skills, albeit with a body that defies physics, continually set up fellow Scotchman Eddie who had approx. 27 shots on goal. He scored two for the orange bibs.

Another returnee was Max. One highlight was a breakaway, when he attempted to confuse the keeper with a Marcus Rashford style impression. It did not end well. However, unlike Marcus, he redeemed himself with a hat-trick for the orange bibs.

Other than Max the rest of the goals for the yellow bibs were Big Al, Keef, Terry and, of course, the goal of the game from Geoff. Due to circumstances entirely beyond his control, he found himself free and clear in front of goal. With the poise and grace of a baby giraffe, he let fly with a rocket of a shot, sending the keeper the wrong way without any chance of a save. Time stopped still as the ball went through the keeper’s legs, almost bursting the net. The cheers were heard all around the penalty area.

In the bar afterwards, Kevin, Eddie, Steve, and Mike attempted to provide an explanation for the 7-2 scoreline but there were no subtitles and this reporter has no clue what they were saying.

Over and out!